Oh, where to start?...
The week began with the "abstinence" talk first thing Monday morning, which went surprisingly well. It took me a LONG time to fall asleep the night before, but I wasn't really nervous by the time the talk came around. Although I think most of them were probably too intimidated to have said anything to me, one 7th grade girl made this comment, "Miss, you're really brave. Most adults think that it's wrong, but you actually TOLD them it is wrong." I laughed, but it lifted my spirits in an unspeakable way to think that she saw me as brave. Since I got here I've felt anything but brave. Insufficient, small, weak, lonely, defeated, scared, depending on the hour, but definitely not brave. Let's just hope God used it to touch someone's heart.
In other news, this week there was a mouse in the teacher room that kept coming in and out of hiding. The science fair is coming up in two weeks and I'm excited to see the students' projects! I will NOT miss smashing ants with my finger every time I sit down at my desk. Today I got to watch Return of the King and cook omelets and cinnamon toast with Francisco. Tons of fun! That was after cleaning the house, of course, which was disgusting. Especially cleaning the screens which we've never done. One wipe and the towel was black! I wish I'd taken a picture... Went to dinner with the Brewster's tonight and parked ON TOP of drying coffee beans that were covering the parking lot (be careful buying coffee in Honduras, it might taste slightly of car oil, I don't know). And finally, we lost our card game to the Brewster's again. So far the running score for the year, Brewster's: 4 Emily and Ashley: 1. Saturday nights are just not our lucky night...
Now! For the most exciting news of the week! I GOT MY OFFICIAL RETURN DATE APPROVED! I'll be home 2 days earlier than originally thought: June 15th! All that's left to do is buy the plane ticket.
For now I've got four months to take advantage of being here and not having the worries of... life hanging over my head, lol. And actually, my God-given goal for the remaining time is to work on some spiritual discipline. Could get exciting :-)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
P.S. I just read today's My Utmost devo, check it out, but be very wary of what it says to do... it'll hurt.
Are you ready to be poured out?
Are you ready to be poured out?
3rd Quarter
Tomorrow begins the 3rd quarter of my school year at Maranatha. What a journey it's been so far :-) And the first thing I get to do when I get to school tomorrow morning? Give the 7th-11th graders a short talk on why it is honorable to wait to get involved physically with someone before marriage, oh boy! I'm partially nervous, partially excited because I know that these kids really need to hear (more than once) some of the things I am gonna say. My prayer is that there will be at least one or two in the crowd that need to hear it.
Taking a step back. Last week was exam week and all in all it went well, except for the 20 or so students that failed my classes and the irritated eye I had on Thursday from scratching my cornea while taking out my contacts. The eye is all better, but the students are still going to fail. Then on Friday, Emily, Mama Brewster, and I went to Tegucigalpa for a 24 hour women's retreat. It was especially a retreat for English-speaking, women missionaries serving in Honduras. I NEVER realized what a huge need there was for a ministry like that one. Yes I was blessed by it, but there were many more missionary women there that have been on the field for a long time without any sort of support like what this weekend was. Being a missionary is HARD. And it never occurred to me how much harder it would be without any sort of place to occasionally retreat to and receive love and encouragement from like-minded women. It was amazing to see how desperately some of them needed, even for just 24 hours, to sit quietly and pray or talk about their struggles or just nap guilt free. I almost felt ashamed to be there knowing I only have four and a half months left, compared to some of these women who have been in Honduras for years.
Anyhow, if anyone is interested in starting a ministry for missionary women, let me tell you there is plenty of need for it.
God revealed several things to me while I was there. My favorite of which was just a simple reminder that I need to delight myself in him. Through the difficulty of the past several months I have been in survival mode, always asking for strength, guidance, and perseverance. I'd forgotten how to simply delight in my Lord. To sit in quiet and let him tell me how much he loves me. During worship Saturday, I saw these women singing to their God and delighting themselves in him and without realizing it I had been thinking to myself that such delight was not for me. It was meant for me and it wasn't mine. But in that moment I realized that just because I was in the midst of difficult circumstances, didn't mean that delight in the Lord couldn't be mine. Delight with my Lord was mine as long as I chose it, took time for it, and allowed it to come. In dark places it can be difficult, but it isn't impossible unless you haven't been sitting still long enough to seek it. This weekend I got to sit still. And it was wonderful to be renewed and reassured. The Lord is indeed delighting.
And now it's off to pizza hut to enjoy the second half of the superbowl, go Packers!
Taking a step back. Last week was exam week and all in all it went well, except for the 20 or so students that failed my classes and the irritated eye I had on Thursday from scratching my cornea while taking out my contacts. The eye is all better, but the students are still going to fail. Then on Friday, Emily, Mama Brewster, and I went to Tegucigalpa for a 24 hour women's retreat. It was especially a retreat for English-speaking, women missionaries serving in Honduras. I NEVER realized what a huge need there was for a ministry like that one. Yes I was blessed by it, but there were many more missionary women there that have been on the field for a long time without any sort of support like what this weekend was. Being a missionary is HARD. And it never occurred to me how much harder it would be without any sort of place to occasionally retreat to and receive love and encouragement from like-minded women. It was amazing to see how desperately some of them needed, even for just 24 hours, to sit quietly and pray or talk about their struggles or just nap guilt free. I almost felt ashamed to be there knowing I only have four and a half months left, compared to some of these women who have been in Honduras for years.
Anyhow, if anyone is interested in starting a ministry for missionary women, let me tell you there is plenty of need for it.
God revealed several things to me while I was there. My favorite of which was just a simple reminder that I need to delight myself in him. Through the difficulty of the past several months I have been in survival mode, always asking for strength, guidance, and perseverance. I'd forgotten how to simply delight in my Lord. To sit in quiet and let him tell me how much he loves me. During worship Saturday, I saw these women singing to their God and delighting themselves in him and without realizing it I had been thinking to myself that such delight was not for me. It was meant for me and it wasn't mine. But in that moment I realized that just because I was in the midst of difficult circumstances, didn't mean that delight in the Lord couldn't be mine. Delight with my Lord was mine as long as I chose it, took time for it, and allowed it to come. In dark places it can be difficult, but it isn't impossible unless you haven't been sitting still long enough to seek it. This weekend I got to sit still. And it was wonderful to be renewed and reassured. The Lord is indeed delighting.
And now it's off to pizza hut to enjoy the second half of the superbowl, go Packers!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Just because it's Wednesday...
We are in the middle of Partial Exam Week II. After this week we have an 8 week quarter with no vacation days (and the science fair!). Then a five week quarter with spring break thrown in. I feel like I'm living in a weird limbo, where I'm just waiting for June to get here cause it'll be time to leave. Honduran life has become familiar and somewhat comfortable especially since I first arrived, but I don't feel settled knowing I'm leaving again in four months. So, the temptation is to just let myself mentally and emotionally jump ahead to June instead of hanging out in this strange middle-ground. But I was talking to the computer teacher today... He said that he had his students do a project where they wrote a resume for someone they admire. One of the 7th graders who is failing my class, is absent half the time, and hardly talks in class picked me. What she wrote I don't know. Why she chose me, I don't know. But here's what I heard: They are still watching you. Even though I feel like I'm just waiting to go home at times, they are still watching me. Even though I have less time left than I have already been here, they are still watching me. It was just the kick in the butt I needed to remember that I can't become complacent now.
Other than that, two quick highlights of the week:
1. Getting called into Counselor Janet's office by the name "nina" (little girl) and then being asked in Spanish to show her how to log on to Facebook, LOL!
2. Getting to tell one of my 7th graders, Orlando, that after failing the first quarter and struggling through the second he passed my class this partial with a 71. The look of relief on his face: priceless.
God, help me to be a good steward of the time I have left. Continue molding my heart and sinking the lessons of this experience deep into my heart. Make me a usable instrument for declaring your gospel to the nations and may it be our one and only passion.
Other than that, two quick highlights of the week:
1. Getting called into Counselor Janet's office by the name "nina" (little girl) and then being asked in Spanish to show her how to log on to Facebook, LOL!
2. Getting to tell one of my 7th graders, Orlando, that after failing the first quarter and struggling through the second he passed my class this partial with a 71. The look of relief on his face: priceless.
God, help me to be a good steward of the time I have left. Continue molding my heart and sinking the lessons of this experience deep into my heart. Make me a usable instrument for declaring your gospel to the nations and may it be our one and only passion.
Monday, January 31, 2011
And then I blinked...
Partial (or Quarter as we would say) #2 is done except for exams this week. I've got 20ish kids that are probably going to fail :-( Emily's grandmother was hospitalized for a minor heart attack, but is hopefully going home Wednesday. We moved card night with the Brewster's to last Friday night and we beat them by around 4,000 points! I think Friday nights are luckier for us, lol. I haven't talked much about the young mothers at the Brewster's project, but there is a new one this week. We met her Saturday and her precious 2-week old, Christopher. She is very quiet, but understandable given what she's been through. If I had her life I'd already have a 12 year-old. Like one of my sixth graders! It's so hard to relate to that other than letting it break your heart!
Oh and how could I forget?! we went to a professional soccer game last Sunday! It was fantastic! Here are some of the pictures from the game:
This past Sunday we went to one of the women from church's house for coffee, donuts, worship, and prayer. It was wonderful! Then today we gave our first set of exams and started planning for the next Partial and the Science Fair in three weeks (oh boy!)
But what I feel like really happened since the last post, these past two weeks... I feel like I just blinked. Then January was gone :-)
Oh and how could I forget?! we went to a professional soccer game last Sunday! It was fantastic! Here are some of the pictures from the game:
This past Sunday we went to one of the women from church's house for coffee, donuts, worship, and prayer. It was wonderful! Then today we gave our first set of exams and started planning for the next Partial and the Science Fair in three weeks (oh boy!)
But what I feel like really happened since the last post, these past two weeks... I feel like I just blinked. Then January was gone :-)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
El Medio De Enero
Two weeks down already. Although the weeks have seemed to drag on, I know that the next few months are going to be gone before I know it. If I were able to remember to update the blog more regularly I would be able to remember what's actually happened so far, lol. I do remember that one of our fifth graders scared Emily during class with an 10 inch remote-controlled tarantula and that we rode to the hogar in a taxi one night where we made friends with the Honduran taxi driver who used to be a bouncer in Portland, Oregon. Haha.
Its one of the strangest things going through the daily grind here, knowing that it'll be over in a few months. The feeling of day to day life is not too different than it was in college as far as there always being work to do and its a constant circle of get up, go to school, get home, have a little free time, eat, get ready for classes the next day, sleep, and repeat. But somehow, knowing that it will be over soon gives me a different perspective. A perspective of truly needing to make everyday count for something, as cliche as that sounds. My mind doesn't just get lost in the day and I can't go several days without thinking about the big picture of the next several months like I could during college. And when my mind wanders to thinking about the big picture, it inevitably wanders to the time pressing in on me to do what I came here to do: make connections, share the gospel, serve the students. I've rarely felt this incapable of doing a task set in front of me.
Every week, I'm learning more, however. More about how to live, how to be faithful, how to treat people, how to balance the things that life has thrown at me. This week the lesson has been about having a Mary heart and Martha hands. Coming from Luke 10:38-42, the tasks put in front of me are nothing important compared to making time to sit at the feet of my savior. But the work put before me needs to be done, just not before or in place of spending the time to refresh my spirit and focus my mind in the Word and with prayer. I found this story the other day that made it simple and clear for me:
There were two loggers setting out for a day of work. To make the day interesting they decided to have a competition to see who could cut down the most trees before sundown. The first logger set to work and decided to not rest until he absolutely needed to. After only an hour, he looked over and saw the second logger resting against a tree. His confidence grew as he continued on. He chopped until he couldn't chop anymore and then would let himself rest for a spell, but every time he looked at the second logger, he was resting again. At the end of the day, they compared work and the first logger was astounded to find out that the second logger had cut down almost twice as many trees as he had! Noticing the surprise on the first logger's face, the second said, "I may have rested more throughout the day then you did, but what you didn't notice is that every time I sat down to rest, I was sharpening my axe."
This is a lesson that I wish I had learned much earlier, like freshman year of college. It would've been helpful then to realize that there is a huge difference between resting when you are already exhausted and just want to stop working and resting strategically to prepare yourself for the next step. Maybe before I get home I can get the hang of this. I know it would be really helpful for medical school :-)
Its one of the strangest things going through the daily grind here, knowing that it'll be over in a few months. The feeling of day to day life is not too different than it was in college as far as there always being work to do and its a constant circle of get up, go to school, get home, have a little free time, eat, get ready for classes the next day, sleep, and repeat. But somehow, knowing that it will be over soon gives me a different perspective. A perspective of truly needing to make everyday count for something, as cliche as that sounds. My mind doesn't just get lost in the day and I can't go several days without thinking about the big picture of the next several months like I could during college. And when my mind wanders to thinking about the big picture, it inevitably wanders to the time pressing in on me to do what I came here to do: make connections, share the gospel, serve the students. I've rarely felt this incapable of doing a task set in front of me.
Every week, I'm learning more, however. More about how to live, how to be faithful, how to treat people, how to balance the things that life has thrown at me. This week the lesson has been about having a Mary heart and Martha hands. Coming from Luke 10:38-42, the tasks put in front of me are nothing important compared to making time to sit at the feet of my savior. But the work put before me needs to be done, just not before or in place of spending the time to refresh my spirit and focus my mind in the Word and with prayer. I found this story the other day that made it simple and clear for me:
There were two loggers setting out for a day of work. To make the day interesting they decided to have a competition to see who could cut down the most trees before sundown. The first logger set to work and decided to not rest until he absolutely needed to. After only an hour, he looked over and saw the second logger resting against a tree. His confidence grew as he continued on. He chopped until he couldn't chop anymore and then would let himself rest for a spell, but every time he looked at the second logger, he was resting again. At the end of the day, they compared work and the first logger was astounded to find out that the second logger had cut down almost twice as many trees as he had! Noticing the surprise on the first logger's face, the second said, "I may have rested more throughout the day then you did, but what you didn't notice is that every time I sat down to rest, I was sharpening my axe."
This is a lesson that I wish I had learned much earlier, like freshman year of college. It would've been helpful then to realize that there is a huge difference between resting when you are already exhausted and just want to stop working and resting strategically to prepare yourself for the next step. Maybe before I get home I can get the hang of this. I know it would be really helpful for medical school :-)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
As the vacation ends...
What a wonderful three weeks it has been. We started by chilling a few days in Comayagua, ending to Tela (the beach) for three days, meeting the family in San Pedro then spending a few wonderful days with them in Copan before spending Christmas and New Years in Comayagua again. Although school has been hanging over my head like a dark cloud (sometimes darker than others) it has been a much needed and refreshing break. As much as I'd like to write about every detail I'm thinking a few of my absolute favorite photos will have to suffice.
Life brings challenges and pain sometimes. But God brings good for those who love him. If I am learning anything, I'm learning that. My time in Honduras has been really difficult at times and there have been moments that all I've been able to do is cry out to God. But people can bring perspective and remind you that you are not alone and you are loved. That's the gift my incredible family gave me this Christmas... not to mention the Bilingual Bible (praise God!) and Spanish Scrabble, lol!
My heart has also been re-broken for the girls at the hogar and the boys at the farm that don't have a family to swoop in and provide relief for them and encourage them in life's dark moments. So even though I am going to be struggling through, sometimes on a daily basis, the next five months or so, my prayer is that if I can bring any comfort, any hope, any love into the lives of these precious children, I would be empowered to do so by the strength of the Holy Spirit and the work of God's grace in my life.
Happy New Year!
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