And then I blinked...

Partial (or Quarter as we would say) #2 is done except for exams this week.  I've got 20ish kids that are probably going to fail :-(  Emily's grandmother was hospitalized for a minor heart attack, but is hopefully going home Wednesday.  We moved card night with the Brewster's to last Friday night and we beat them by around 4,000 points!  I think Friday nights are luckier for us, lol.  I haven't talked much about the young mothers at the Brewster's project, but there is a new one this week.  We met her Saturday and her precious 2-week old, Christopher.  She is very quiet, but understandable given what she's been through.  If I had her life I'd already have a 12 year-old.  Like one of my sixth graders!  It's so hard to relate to that other than letting it break your heart!

Oh and how could I forget?!  we went to a professional soccer game last Sunday!  It was fantastic!  Here are some of the pictures from the game:

This past Sunday we went to one of the women from church's house for coffee, donuts, worship, and prayer. It was wonderful!  Then today we gave our first set of exams and started planning for the next Partial and the Science Fair in three weeks (oh boy!)

But what I feel like really happened since the last post, these past two weeks... I feel like I just blinked.  Then January was gone :-)

El Medio De Enero

Two weeks down already.  Although the weeks have seemed to drag on, I know that the next few months are going to be gone before I know it.  If I were able to remember to update the blog more regularly I would be able to remember what's actually happened so far, lol.  I do remember that one of our fifth graders scared Emily during class with an 10 inch remote-controlled tarantula and that we rode to the hogar in a taxi one night where we made friends with the Honduran taxi driver who used to be a bouncer in Portland, Oregon.  Haha.

Its one of the strangest things going through the daily grind here, knowing that it'll be over in a few months.  The feeling of day to day life is not too different than it was in college as far as there always being work to do and its a constant circle of get up, go to school, get home, have a little free time, eat, get ready for classes the next day, sleep, and repeat.  But somehow, knowing that it will be over soon gives me a different perspective.  A perspective of truly needing to make everyday count for something, as cliche as that sounds.  My mind doesn't just get lost in the day and I can't go several days without thinking about the big picture of the next several months like I could during college.  And when my mind wanders to thinking about the big picture, it inevitably wanders to the time pressing in on me to do what I came here to do: make connections, share the gospel, serve the students.  I've rarely felt this incapable of doing a task set in front of me.

Every week, I'm learning more, however.  More about how to live, how to be faithful, how to treat people, how to balance the things that life has thrown at me.  This week the lesson has been about having a Mary heart and Martha hands.  Coming from Luke 10:38-42, the tasks put in front of me are nothing important compared to making time to sit at the feet of my savior.  But the work put before me needs to be done, just not before or in place of spending the time to refresh my spirit and focus my mind in the Word and with prayer.  I found this story the other day that made it simple and clear for me:

There were two loggers setting out for a day of work.  To make the day interesting they decided to have a competition to see who could cut down the most trees before sundown.  The first logger set to work and decided to not rest until he absolutely needed to.  After only an hour, he looked over and saw the second logger resting against a tree.  His confidence grew as he continued on.  He chopped until he couldn't chop anymore and then would let himself rest for a spell, but every time he looked at the second logger, he was resting again.  At the end of the day, they compared work and the first logger was astounded to find out that the second logger had cut down almost twice as many trees as he had!  Noticing the surprise on the first logger's face, the second said, "I may have rested more throughout the day then you did, but what you didn't notice is that every time I sat down to rest, I was sharpening my axe."


This is a lesson that I wish I had learned much earlier, like freshman year of college.  It would've been helpful then to realize that there is a huge difference between resting when you are already exhausted and just want to stop working and resting strategically to prepare yourself for the next step.  Maybe before I get home I can get the hang of this.  I know it would be really helpful for medical school :-)

As the vacation ends...

What a wonderful three weeks it has been.  We started by chilling a few days in Comayagua, ending to Tela (the beach) for three days, meeting the family in San Pedro then spending a few wonderful days with them in Copan before spending Christmas and New Years in Comayagua again.  Although school has been hanging over my head like a dark cloud (sometimes darker than others) it has been a much needed and refreshing break.  As much as I'd like to write about every detail I'm thinking a few of my absolute favorite photos will have to suffice.

 

 

Life brings challenges and pain sometimes.  But God brings good for those who love him.  If I am learning anything, I'm learning that.  My time in Honduras has been really difficult at times and there have been moments that all I've been able to do is cry out to God.  But people can bring perspective and remind you that you are not alone and you are loved.  That's the gift my incredible family gave me this Christmas... not to mention the Bilingual Bible (praise God!) and Spanish Scrabble, lol!

My heart has also been re-broken for the girls at the hogar and the boys at the farm that don't have a family to swoop in and provide relief for them and encourage them in life's dark moments.  So even though I am going to be struggling through, sometimes on a daily basis, the next five months or so, my prayer is that if I can bring any comfort, any hope, any love into the lives of these precious children, I would be empowered to do so by the strength of the Holy Spirit and the work of God's grace in my life.

Happy New Year!

The Reality

(The honest reality of my circumstance and the eternal reality of my God)

I find myself sitting in my living room at this late hour sick to my stomach with dread.  Dread of my family leaving, dread of vacation being over, and most of all dread of going back to school.  There's a pit in the bottom of my stomach because I feel so unprepared and I can't sleep because my mind is racing with all of the things I have to get done before school starts again.  What do you do when you can't shake the feeling of dread?  One of the only outlets that we as Christians have is to cry to God.  Sometimes it is the only outlet we have.  A part from that we can pour truth into our hearts and our minds.  This evening I had an encouraging talk with my dad that reminded me that all of these things I'm facing are just circumstantial.  The school work, the living in Honduras, the being away from friends and family... it's all just circumstances.  The only reason that any of them should cause such a dread within me is if I have my eyes fixed on them rather than Christ.  It sounds like foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those of us who are being saved it is the glory of God.  Let's review some truths that I'm going to have no choice but to stake my trust in these next few months and, Lord willing, the rest of my life:

1.  God is bigger than ANYTHING I face.  The mountains may get bigger and bigger for the rest of my life, but it will only be so that I can continue to increase my understanding of how big God is as I understand how he is bigger than all of them.  May my eyes be opened more and more as I move forward.

2.  Only Christ can live the life he has called me to.  I cannot do it.  If I could do it, then he would not receive the glory.  My participation in the story of his glory spurns from his ability to do the impossible, first by saving me and second by being able to use me for good.  And my eternal joy can only come from surrendering to that end.

3.  Failure in a worldly sense is not something to fear.  The only thing I should fear is God himself, the one who has the right to judge and the mercy to send his son to divert his judgement that we might live.  Failure at a job, in the eyes of men, in the eyes of the world is not a terrible thing.  It can be a painful thing, but worldly success cannot satisfy and men do not determine my worth.  Only the blood of a priceless Savior can do that.

4.  As my mom continually reminds me: I am still his masterpiece.  Eph 2:10.  No matter how I perform, fail, fall on my face, or succeed I am his masterpiece.  Perfect in his eyes, worth saving, and not worthless.  He spent his life redeeming me.  I am worth something great to him, mostly because his glory is worth something so great and his choice to save me demonstrates that glory to the nth degree.

5.  Faith is about seeing past the things in front of my face, leaning hard into my heavenly Father, and putting my hope in the things not yet seen.  It is hard, very hard sometimes especially when there is pain or turmoil involved.  But it is a choice that we have the power to make.  I have to choose to not let myself be blinded by the things around me and to fix my eyes on the author and perfecter of my faith.  Christ wrote my faith and he perfects my faith.  It is my faith, but it is his work in me.  What a beautiful conundrum.  If that's the right word for it.

Here's the bottom line: Life is hard.  God is good.  Faith is about seeing past the hard to the truth about a good God who has promised to deliver those who call upon his name.  It may not mean rescue from the sorrows of today.  It may not mean an end to hardship.  It may not mean relief from afflicting circumstances.  But it does mean what it means, deliverance.  Deliverance from staking our lives on things that don't matter.  Deliverance from a purposeless existence that fades like the mist.  Deliverance from our own weakness and sin.  Deliverance from all of the prisons and chains that bind our hearts, minds, and souls.  He promises to deliver those who call upon his name.  Those who put their trust in him.  The only thing to fear is taking my eyes off of him and trusting in anything else.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name...


On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.

The Belated Birthday Post...

Just finished adding photos to the following post, lol.  There's just not a lot of down time here, even during vacation!...

This past weekend was my 22nd birthday (I say weekend because we celebrated ALL weekend :-).  Most of my friends said they were starting to feel old when they turned this age but I still feel like a baby.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that I know that I've got 4 more years of school ahead of me, I'm not getting married, and I'm not having to look for a real person job yet.  It does feel like it has been a really long year though.  Last year this time I was in the middle of applying to medical school, still finishing 1st semester senior year, and had no clue I'd be in Honduras even though I was swinging at a pinata in the backyard.  It's funny how life can change so quickly.  I hope it never stops changing like this.  Life is so much more of an adventure when you don't know where you're going to be the next year.

Anyhow, my birthday fell on a Monday this year (slightly unfortunate) but it meant that we had celebrations all weekend long :-)  A bunch of our friends from the University came over for lunch on Saturday and yes I got icing in my face... somewhat of a tradition that I should've been perceptive enough to anticipate, but I was too distracted by the pretty cake!  I mean look at it!  It's gorgeous!

 And what birthday would be complete without a little Lord of the Rings thrown into the mix :-D

 Later that night the Brewsters came over for our traditional Saturday night cards but we also decorated our newly purchased Christmas tree and had Birthday pancakes (a Brewster-family tradition), melted candle and all.

Just for the record, Emily and I won at Spades that night and I won Hearts being the only player not to have shot the moon.  Fun times.

Now, Monday, the actual birthday, the best roommate in the world got up really early, made pancakes (again!), decorated with balloons (from my mom), and organized the students at school to get me soaked with water (another Honduran tradition), but she has all of those pictures.

It was a great birthday away from home.  Thanks, Em.

Christmas Vaca, Day One

Once again it's been a shamefully long time since I've written.  It's been two weeks since my birthday and I have yet to write about the three-ish parties, the Christmas decorating, the glue bottle explosion, and getting drenched with water by the students at school.  But, rather than catching up on all of that right now, let's talk about last night...

The first evening of our Christmas vacation.  We spent the afternoon at the hogar and grabbed a quick (and cheap!) dinner of baleadas with the Brewsters then headed to the park.  It was the night of the Honduras Filarmonica (philharmonic) concert at the cathedral (which you have to know is predominantly located beside the park) and also the night of the richest neighborhood's turn to provide the entertainment in the park for this week long Christmas celebration.  Apparently they usually do a grand fireworks display.

So we get to the park and start walking around waiting for our friends to arrive and see a small area of the park roped off with wooden frames holding lots of poles.  As we got closer to see what was going on it hit us that those were the fireworks.  Right in the middle of the park and the people, roped off so that maybe ten feet separated the crowd and the frames.  But don't worry.  Nearby were three highly trained red cross volunteers and guards with guns were everywhere.  Ha!  Welcome to Honduras.

We met up with our friends and wandered outside the cathedral to listen to the orchestra play from outside rather than pay the 100 limps to get in.  A few minutes later one of the local girls with us grabbed my arm telling me to come, walked right past the ticket table and worker and sat down in one of the back rows of the cathedral.  I couldn't get her to tell me what she said to the lady to get her to let us in without paying, but I was glad she did.  We listened to a few pieces I recognized but couldn't name and then... Lord of the Rings medley!  I was so happy :-)  But whoever decided this concert should be on the same night as the fireworks made a terrible decision.  As soon as the medley was over we started hearing some large "booms" outside.  The others wanted to stay but Emily and I headed outside to see.

It was a little disappointing when we stepped outside because the fireworks were the standard ones here that fly into the air, pop with a small flash, and that's it.  At first they started just a few, then several at a time, and after about three minutes it got old.  Then out of nowhere the real fireworks started!  We were standing right under them beside the Cathedral and it was fantastic!  Like ten minutes of what firework finales look like in the states!  You couldn't see into the park the smoke was so thick and several of the firework casings (still glowing embers) fell right into the crowd.  Oh yeah, and did I mention that some of the fireworks were being set off just to the side of some electrical poles and wires?  Lol.  No one was seriously injured, but I could see it happening pretty easily.

Next was the "Reyes de la Punta" band outside (yes, with the orchestra still playing inside).  The band's name means the kings of the Punta, Punta being a very fast traditional Honduran dance/music style.  And of course we run into the University boys from the hogar and of course they insist on pushing our way through the crowd to the very center of the crowd and of course they insist on getting the American to dance too.  Lol.  All I can say is that I hope no students were there any more and that if they were they forget anything they saw by the time we get back to school!

Fun times:-)

A Very Honduran Thanksgiving...

Any good blog about Thanksgiving is going to start off with things to be thankful for, so here we go... A warm place to sleep and plenty of food, a God who sees me and who has called me by name to be his, a family back home that is more loving and supporting than I could have hoped for even though they are far away, a brother who is always an encouragement to me, a sister that makes me laugh, a mom who understands me better than anyone, a dad who never lets me forget that I'm loved, grandparents who make me nothing less than very proud to be their granddaughter, an extended family that will take up the battle of prayer for me in hard times, an incredible house-mate that will pick up my slack, say the hard things, and not get too tired of me, an unbelievable pair of stand-in parents that will cry with me about being far from family, and the list goes on...

Anyone crying yet?  I'm almost there.

Let's start with Wednesday.  Emily and I go to the grocery to get the green beans to feed 35 people.  The guest list for the dinner included all the missionaries from school, the Brewsters, the girls in both the Misericordia project, and Buen Pastor project, the tias, a few friends, and our spanish tutor and husband.  Needless to say it was a LOT of green beans.  It was a little awkward as we went to the cashier and we were laughing feeling self-conscious while they just stared.  Lol.  We took the green beans to the Brewster's house and started cooking...

I was in charge of the green beans, while Emily started making pie crust for the individual pumpkin pies for everyone!  Yum...  Now, I had lost my voice and could only whisper which wasn't so fun.  I was feeling kinda  down because it was the day before Thanksgiving, I was away from family, and sick.  Boo.  But in all the little things God continues to show me he wants to be my provider and the two things that I had been wishing I had Momma Brewster pulls out of the closet:

Yes!  that is Mucinex and Lemon Mint Ricola drops!  It could not have been more perfect.  That night we wrapped up the pre-Thanksgiving cooking and headed home.

Thursday morning my voice was still very weak and that morning I'll admit I was having a bit of a pity-party.  I was in a foreign country away from family on Thanksgiving (which I've never been), having to go to work to teach classes, and on top of everything I didn't think I was going to have a voice to be able to talk to my family with!  Prayer, prayer, prayer and we headed to school.  Without a voice I asked for a sub for my fifth grade classes and tried to save my voice as much as possible with the others.  Thank the Lord that by the time I got to Skype the family I had enough of a voice to chat for two-ish hours.  I started crying when I saw all of my family on the other side of the screen and cried when they sang me Happy Birthday together and cried when I said good-bye, but it was all the kind of crying that's really good for the soul.

A few hours later we were sitting down to dinner with all the friends and family I've grown so close to since coming here.

And then we started serving the food, and in true Honduran fashion, here's what it looked like a few minutes later...

No, Hondurans are not romantics that like to eat their dinner by candle light, the electricity went out.  Ha!  Of course.  The good news was that we had finished all the cooking so it was doable to get the food served in the dark and then the electricity came back on just in time for us to start cleaning.  What a night.  But the food was delicious and the company spectacular.

Top Left: Me and Alexandra, Kadian, Mercedes and her baby girl, Fernanda
Top Right: Me and Emily Morris (the missionary from Nebraska)
Bottom Left:  Me and a few of the precious angels from Misericordia (Gloria, Yojana, and Vanessa)
Bottom Right: the missionaries with Luz, another Misericordia girl


And my favorite photo of the night just for kicks and giggles was Vanessa on Mario's motorcycle:

 She doesn't look happy, but I think that's her "ya, that's right, I'm on a motorcycle" face.  Lol.