Futbol, lattes, and frustration...

Yes, Wednesday I played my first game of soccer in Honduras in La Canchita (let's just say it's an outdoor indoor soccer court and you can use your imagination).  It was a ton of fun.  I don't think it hurt that Emily and I really needed to work off some frustration from this week at the school :-)  Now, I don't really want to write about all the frustrating things that happened this week, but I'll just say that the culture and way of doing things here is very very different than what we're used to and we feel very unprepared for school on Monday.  Is that going to change by worrying about it?  Not at all.  So I'm gonna move on...

During my short time here so far, I have discovered a dimension of our God that although had been within my realm of knowledge, I had not known this character of God as I do now.  That is God as our provider.  And I am as aware as anyone about how cliche that sounds.  Unlike the typical story about God providing last minute needed financing for this or that, my discovery has been somewhat different.  I don't know how else to explain it other than I feel physically and personally cared for by my heavenly Father through the material things he's provided me for my year here.  One good example is the house that Emily and I are staying in.  By all standards (especially Honduran standards) it's HUGE for only two people.  But it gives us the escape from school we need, our own space to be by ourselves and be with the Lord, and room to just be calm and breathe after a hard day at work.

It's different, though, than just being thankful for what I've been given because here it's not just being thankful for things I get to have... it's more like a lack of worry about things (material things) in general because I have every thing I need.  As though God is (and I know he is) providing all that we need to be empowered to do our work here, but also to be cared for enough such that my mind is not ever occupied with worry or care about material things.  It frees my mind up to focus solely on what is important, solely on my mission of sharing the gospel.

It's a different perspective that is difficult to explain so I hope it made sense, especially since my writing gets exponentially more confusing to follow after 9:30 now.  Maybe one more reiteration will help: He's shown me that he is provider in many more ways than last minute hero stuff.  He provides daily, not only physical things, but also mental and emotional ones.  And in my case, material things in order to provide peace of mind, which is a mental/emotional thing... ya, something like that.

The bottom line is this, and be reminded and encouraged if you have forgotten recently: God cares for his children.  We often and easily forget that his provisions are grace not our right, but he gives generously anyway because he is slow to anger, full of patience, and abounding in love.  He cares for us.  Individually, specifically, personally.  He has not forgotten you, overlooked your needs, or procrastinated in attending to you.  I accuse him of that all too often (of course ever accusing him of that is too often, but you know what I mean).  We have been given grace, things we don't deserve, the love and attention of a Father we don't deserve.  Don't feel guilty or defensive if you struggle with gratefulness, we all have that struggle.  As I'm learning here even orphans in the middle of Honduras have that struggle.  But do not let your struggle with ungratefulness become an internal debate about the character of God.  He is always good, always caring, always attentive.  We don't feel it and it is hard to believe, but that is our struggle not a question of the character of a God who is greater than our hearts.

Well, that ended up going a direction I didn't mean to.  Anyhow...

Walked to the mall today to get an iced latte during lunch break, my first since being here (iced latte, not lunch break).  It was delicious! (Que rico!)  And I couldn't help but sit there and think "How unspiritual is it that I'm sitting as a 'missionary' in a developing country sitting in one of the nicest places in town sipping a latte?"  but I couldn't help but sit there and think, "The Lord is good."