(The honest reality of my circumstance and the eternal reality of my God)
I find myself sitting in my living room at this late hour sick to my stomach with dread. Dread of my family leaving, dread of vacation being over, and most of all dread of going back to school. There's a pit in the bottom of my stomach because I feel so unprepared and I can't sleep because my mind is racing with all of the things I have to get done before school starts again. What do you do when you can't shake the feeling of dread? One of the only outlets that we as Christians have is to cry to God. Sometimes it is the only outlet we have. A part from that we can pour truth into our hearts and our minds. This evening I had an encouraging talk with my dad that reminded me that all of these things I'm facing are just circumstantial. The school work, the living in Honduras, the being away from friends and family... it's all just circumstances. The only reason that any of them should cause such a dread within me is if I have my eyes fixed on them rather than Christ. It sounds like foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those of us who are being saved it is the glory of God. Let's review some truths that I'm going to have no choice but to stake my trust in these next few months and, Lord willing, the rest of my life:
1. God is bigger than ANYTHING I face. The mountains may get bigger and bigger for the rest of my life, but it will only be so that I can continue to increase my understanding of how big God is as I understand how he is bigger than all of them. May my eyes be opened more and more as I move forward.
2. Only Christ can live the life he has called me to. I cannot do it. If I could do it, then he would not receive the glory. My participation in the story of his glory spurns from his ability to do the impossible, first by saving me and second by being able to use me for good. And my eternal joy can only come from surrendering to that end.
3. Failure in a worldly sense is not something to fear. The only thing I should fear is God himself, the one who has the right to judge and the mercy to send his son to divert his judgement that we might live. Failure at a job, in the eyes of men, in the eyes of the world is not a terrible thing. It can be a painful thing, but worldly success cannot satisfy and men do not determine my worth. Only the blood of a priceless Savior can do that.
4. As my mom continually reminds me: I am still his masterpiece. Eph 2:10. No matter how I perform, fail, fall on my face, or succeed I am his masterpiece. Perfect in his eyes, worth saving, and not worthless. He spent his life redeeming me. I am worth something great to him, mostly because his glory is worth something so great and his choice to save me demonstrates that glory to the nth degree.
5. Faith is about seeing past the things in front of my face, leaning hard into my heavenly Father, and putting my hope in the things not yet seen. It is hard, very hard sometimes especially when there is pain or turmoil involved. But it is a choice that we have the power to make. I have to choose to not let myself be blinded by the things around me and to fix my eyes on the author and perfecter of my faith. Christ wrote my faith and he perfects my faith. It is my faith, but it is his work in me. What a beautiful conundrum. If that's the right word for it.
Here's the bottom line: Life is hard. God is good. Faith is about seeing past the hard to the truth about a good God who has promised to deliver those who call upon his name. It may not mean rescue from the sorrows of today. It may not mean an end to hardship. It may not mean relief from afflicting circumstances. But it does mean what it means, deliverance. Deliverance from staking our lives on things that don't matter. Deliverance from a purposeless existence that fades like the mist. Deliverance from our own weakness and sin. Deliverance from all of the prisons and chains that bind our hearts, minds, and souls. He promises to deliver those who call upon his name. Those who put their trust in him. The only thing to fear is taking my eyes off of him and trusting in anything else.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name...
On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.
Monday, December 27, 2010
The Belated Birthday Post...
Just finished adding photos to the following post, lol. There's just not a lot of down time here, even during vacation!...
This past weekend was my 22nd birthday (I say weekend because we celebrated ALL weekend :-). Most of my friends said they were starting to feel old when they turned this age but I still feel like a baby. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I know that I've got 4 more years of school ahead of me, I'm not getting married, and I'm not having to look for a real person job yet. It does feel like it has been a really long year though. Last year this time I was in the middle of applying to medical school, still finishing 1st semester senior year, and had no clue I'd be in Honduras even though I was swinging at a pinata in the backyard. It's funny how life can change so quickly. I hope it never stops changing like this. Life is so much more of an adventure when you don't know where you're going to be the next year.
Anyhow, my birthday fell on a Monday this year (slightly unfortunate) but it meant that we had celebrations all weekend long :-) A bunch of our friends from the University came over for lunch on Saturday and yes I got icing in my face... somewhat of a tradition that I should've been perceptive enough to anticipate, but I was too distracted by the pretty cake! I mean look at it! It's gorgeous!
And what birthday would be complete without a little Lord of the Rings thrown into the mix :-D
Later that night the Brewsters came over for our traditional Saturday night cards but we also decorated our newly purchased Christmas tree and had Birthday pancakes (a Brewster-family tradition), melted candle and all.
Just for the record, Emily and I won at Spades that night and I won Hearts being the only player not to have shot the moon. Fun times.
Now, Monday, the actual birthday, the best roommate in the world got up really early, made pancakes (again!), decorated with balloons (from my mom), and organized the students at school to get me soaked with water (another Honduran tradition), but she has all of those pictures.
It was a great birthday away from home. Thanks, Em.
This past weekend was my 22nd birthday (I say weekend because we celebrated ALL weekend :-). Most of my friends said they were starting to feel old when they turned this age but I still feel like a baby. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I know that I've got 4 more years of school ahead of me, I'm not getting married, and I'm not having to look for a real person job yet. It does feel like it has been a really long year though. Last year this time I was in the middle of applying to medical school, still finishing 1st semester senior year, and had no clue I'd be in Honduras even though I was swinging at a pinata in the backyard. It's funny how life can change so quickly. I hope it never stops changing like this. Life is so much more of an adventure when you don't know where you're going to be the next year.
Anyhow, my birthday fell on a Monday this year (slightly unfortunate) but it meant that we had celebrations all weekend long :-) A bunch of our friends from the University came over for lunch on Saturday and yes I got icing in my face... somewhat of a tradition that I should've been perceptive enough to anticipate, but I was too distracted by the pretty cake! I mean look at it! It's gorgeous!
Later that night the Brewsters came over for our traditional Saturday night cards but we also decorated our newly purchased Christmas tree and had Birthday pancakes (a Brewster-family tradition), melted candle and all.
Just for the record, Emily and I won at Spades that night and I won Hearts being the only player not to have shot the moon. Fun times.
Now, Monday, the actual birthday, the best roommate in the world got up really early, made pancakes (again!), decorated with balloons (from my mom), and organized the students at school to get me soaked with water (another Honduran tradition), but she has all of those pictures.
It was a great birthday away from home. Thanks, Em.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Christmas Vaca, Day One
Once again it's been a shamefully long time since I've written. It's been two weeks since my birthday and I have yet to write about the three-ish parties, the Christmas decorating, the glue bottle explosion, and getting drenched with water by the students at school. But, rather than catching up on all of that right now, let's talk about last night...
The first evening of our Christmas vacation. We spent the afternoon at the hogar and grabbed a quick (and cheap!) dinner of baleadas with the Brewsters then headed to the park. It was the night of the Honduras Filarmonica (philharmonic) concert at the cathedral (which you have to know is predominantly located beside the park) and also the night of the richest neighborhood's turn to provide the entertainment in the park for this week long Christmas celebration. Apparently they usually do a grand fireworks display.
So we get to the park and start walking around waiting for our friends to arrive and see a small area of the park roped off with wooden frames holding lots of poles. As we got closer to see what was going on it hit us that those were the fireworks. Right in the middle of the park and the people, roped off so that maybe ten feet separated the crowd and the frames. But don't worry. Nearby were three highly trained red cross volunteers and guards with guns were everywhere. Ha! Welcome to Honduras.
We met up with our friends and wandered outside the cathedral to listen to the orchestra play from outside rather than pay the 100 limps to get in. A few minutes later one of the local girls with us grabbed my arm telling me to come, walked right past the ticket table and worker and sat down in one of the back rows of the cathedral. I couldn't get her to tell me what she said to the lady to get her to let us in without paying, but I was glad she did. We listened to a few pieces I recognized but couldn't name and then... Lord of the Rings medley! I was so happy :-) But whoever decided this concert should be on the same night as the fireworks made a terrible decision. As soon as the medley was over we started hearing some large "booms" outside. The others wanted to stay but Emily and I headed outside to see.
It was a little disappointing when we stepped outside because the fireworks were the standard ones here that fly into the air, pop with a small flash, and that's it. At first they started just a few, then several at a time, and after about three minutes it got old. Then out of nowhere the real fireworks started! We were standing right under them beside the Cathedral and it was fantastic! Like ten minutes of what firework finales look like in the states! You couldn't see into the park the smoke was so thick and several of the firework casings (still glowing embers) fell right into the crowd. Oh yeah, and did I mention that some of the fireworks were being set off just to the side of some electrical poles and wires? Lol. No one was seriously injured, but I could see it happening pretty easily.
Next was the "Reyes de la Punta" band outside (yes, with the orchestra still playing inside). The band's name means the kings of the Punta, Punta being a very fast traditional Honduran dance/music style. And of course we run into the University boys from the hogar and of course they insist on pushing our way through the crowd to the very center of the crowd and of course they insist on getting the American to dance too. Lol. All I can say is that I hope no students were there any more and that if they were they forget anything they saw by the time we get back to school!
Fun times:-)
The first evening of our Christmas vacation. We spent the afternoon at the hogar and grabbed a quick (and cheap!) dinner of baleadas with the Brewsters then headed to the park. It was the night of the Honduras Filarmonica (philharmonic) concert at the cathedral (which you have to know is predominantly located beside the park) and also the night of the richest neighborhood's turn to provide the entertainment in the park for this week long Christmas celebration. Apparently they usually do a grand fireworks display.
So we get to the park and start walking around waiting for our friends to arrive and see a small area of the park roped off with wooden frames holding lots of poles. As we got closer to see what was going on it hit us that those were the fireworks. Right in the middle of the park and the people, roped off so that maybe ten feet separated the crowd and the frames. But don't worry. Nearby were three highly trained red cross volunteers and guards with guns were everywhere. Ha! Welcome to Honduras.
We met up with our friends and wandered outside the cathedral to listen to the orchestra play from outside rather than pay the 100 limps to get in. A few minutes later one of the local girls with us grabbed my arm telling me to come, walked right past the ticket table and worker and sat down in one of the back rows of the cathedral. I couldn't get her to tell me what she said to the lady to get her to let us in without paying, but I was glad she did. We listened to a few pieces I recognized but couldn't name and then... Lord of the Rings medley! I was so happy :-) But whoever decided this concert should be on the same night as the fireworks made a terrible decision. As soon as the medley was over we started hearing some large "booms" outside. The others wanted to stay but Emily and I headed outside to see.
It was a little disappointing when we stepped outside because the fireworks were the standard ones here that fly into the air, pop with a small flash, and that's it. At first they started just a few, then several at a time, and after about three minutes it got old. Then out of nowhere the real fireworks started! We were standing right under them beside the Cathedral and it was fantastic! Like ten minutes of what firework finales look like in the states! You couldn't see into the park the smoke was so thick and several of the firework casings (still glowing embers) fell right into the crowd. Oh yeah, and did I mention that some of the fireworks were being set off just to the side of some electrical poles and wires? Lol. No one was seriously injured, but I could see it happening pretty easily.
Next was the "Reyes de la Punta" band outside (yes, with the orchestra still playing inside). The band's name means the kings of the Punta, Punta being a very fast traditional Honduran dance/music style. And of course we run into the University boys from the hogar and of course they insist on pushing our way through the crowd to the very center of the crowd and of course they insist on getting the American to dance too. Lol. All I can say is that I hope no students were there any more and that if they were they forget anything they saw by the time we get back to school!
Fun times:-)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
A Very Honduran Thanksgiving...
Any good blog about Thanksgiving is going to start off with things to be thankful for, so here we go... A warm place to sleep and plenty of food, a God who sees me and who has called me by name to be his, a family back home that is more loving and supporting than I could have hoped for even though they are far away, a brother who is always an encouragement to me, a sister that makes me laugh, a mom who understands me better than anyone, a dad who never lets me forget that I'm loved, grandparents who make me nothing less than very proud to be their granddaughter, an extended family that will take up the battle of prayer for me in hard times, an incredible house-mate that will pick up my slack, say the hard things, and not get too tired of me, an unbelievable pair of stand-in parents that will cry with me about being far from family, and the list goes on...
Anyone crying yet? I'm almost there.
Let's start with Wednesday. Emily and I go to the grocery to get the green beans to feed 35 people. The guest list for the dinner included all the missionaries from school, the Brewsters, the girls in both the Misericordia project, and Buen Pastor project, the tias, a few friends, and our spanish tutor and husband. Needless to say it was a LOT of green beans. It was a little awkward as we went to the cashier and we were laughing feeling self-conscious while they just stared. Lol. We took the green beans to the Brewster's house and started cooking...
I was in charge of the green beans, while Emily started making pie crust for the individual pumpkin pies for everyone! Yum... Now, I had lost my voice and could only whisper which wasn't so fun. I was feeling kinda down because it was the day before Thanksgiving, I was away from family, and sick. Boo. But in all the little things God continues to show me he wants to be my provider and the two things that I had been wishing I had Momma Brewster pulls out of the closet:
Yes! that is Mucinex and Lemon Mint Ricola drops! It could not have been more perfect. That night we wrapped up the pre-Thanksgiving cooking and headed home.
Thursday morning my voice was still very weak and that morning I'll admit I was having a bit of a pity-party. I was in a foreign country away from family on Thanksgiving (which I've never been), having to go to work to teach classes, and on top of everything I didn't think I was going to have a voice to be able to talk to my family with! Prayer, prayer, prayer and we headed to school. Without a voice I asked for a sub for my fifth grade classes and tried to save my voice as much as possible with the others. Thank the Lord that by the time I got to Skype the family I had enough of a voice to chat for two-ish hours. I started crying when I saw all of my family on the other side of the screen and cried when they sang me Happy Birthday together and cried when I said good-bye, but it was all the kind of crying that's really good for the soul.
A few hours later we were sitting down to dinner with all the friends and family I've grown so close to since coming here.
And then we started serving the food, and in true Honduran fashion, here's what it looked like a few minutes later...
No, Hondurans are not romantics that like to eat their dinner by candle light, the electricity went out. Ha! Of course. The good news was that we had finished all the cooking so it was doable to get the food served in the dark and then the electricity came back on just in time for us to start cleaning. What a night. But the food was delicious and the company spectacular.
Top Left: Me and Alexandra, Kadian, Mercedes and her baby girl, Fernanda
Top Right: Me and Emily Morris (the missionary from Nebraska)
Bottom Left: Me and a few of the precious angels from Misericordia (Gloria, Yojana, and Vanessa)
Bottom Right: the missionaries with Luz, another Misericordia girl
And my favorite photo of the night just for kicks and giggles was Vanessa on Mario's motorcycle:
She doesn't look happy, but I think that's her "ya, that's right, I'm on a motorcycle" face. Lol.
Anyone crying yet? I'm almost there.
Let's start with Wednesday. Emily and I go to the grocery to get the green beans to feed 35 people. The guest list for the dinner included all the missionaries from school, the Brewsters, the girls in both the Misericordia project, and Buen Pastor project, the tias, a few friends, and our spanish tutor and husband. Needless to say it was a LOT of green beans. It was a little awkward as we went to the cashier and we were laughing feeling self-conscious while they just stared. Lol. We took the green beans to the Brewster's house and started cooking...
Thursday morning my voice was still very weak and that morning I'll admit I was having a bit of a pity-party. I was in a foreign country away from family on Thanksgiving (which I've never been), having to go to work to teach classes, and on top of everything I didn't think I was going to have a voice to be able to talk to my family with! Prayer, prayer, prayer and we headed to school. Without a voice I asked for a sub for my fifth grade classes and tried to save my voice as much as possible with the others. Thank the Lord that by the time I got to Skype the family I had enough of a voice to chat for two-ish hours. I started crying when I saw all of my family on the other side of the screen and cried when they sang me Happy Birthday together and cried when I said good-bye, but it was all the kind of crying that's really good for the soul.
A few hours later we were sitting down to dinner with all the friends and family I've grown so close to since coming here.
And then we started serving the food, and in true Honduran fashion, here's what it looked like a few minutes later...
Top Left: Me and Alexandra, Kadian, Mercedes and her baby girl, Fernanda
Top Right: Me and Emily Morris (the missionary from Nebraska)
Bottom Left: Me and a few of the precious angels from Misericordia (Gloria, Yojana, and Vanessa)
Bottom Right: the missionaries with Luz, another Misericordia girl
And my favorite photo of the night just for kicks and giggles was Vanessa on Mario's motorcycle:
She doesn't look happy, but I think that's her "ya, that's right, I'm on a motorcycle" face. Lol.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Graduation and the Retreat
This morning I woke up with the desperate feeling of needing to update my blog on life-happenings, because by the end of this year I want to remember all of this stuff! So starting with two Monday's ago... Our precious Brit friend, Kadian, missed her graduation ceremony! Why it was in the beginning of Nov I have no idea. (We keep telling her that Brits are a little weird...) But the point is that we through a graduation ceremony/party in their living room and it was hilarious! (I should also mention that my mom and wonderful family bought me an IPOD and EXTERNAL SPEAKERS for an early birthday present so we used them to play Pomp and Circumstance! Lol! But the birthday post will come later) We made Kadian put on a red sheet as she marched since there was no gown for her and of course she had to throw it in the air instead of a hat:
Good times:-) After the party that night I decided I was going to work really hard to get all of my work done so I wouldn't have to do anything on Tuesday. But when we got to school Tuesday we heard about a retreat that the secondary students were going on that coming weekend. We just had to go! So my Tuesday off didn't really work out, but we did have a really nice weekend in Valle de Angeles (a small town outside of Teguz up in the mtns). Emily has most of the pictures but here are a few... (after we arrived of course, which was an adventure with our bus breaking down on the side of the highway, missing lunch, etc.)
One of the activities was going on a hike up one of the hills to a lookout, but no the picture here is not from the lookout because we never actually found it. We hiked up and up and up until the teachers all got separated with their groups of students and word got passed down that the leaders didn't know where they were going anymore. It was not so fun for the students but enjoy hiking anyway :-)
I wish I had more encouraging stories about good conversations I had with the students or how they were really encouraged, but really it was just a weekend of getting to know some of them a little better especially as the electricity went out for two hours Saturday night... haha, so many crazy things happened.
Finally we ended up at a mall for two hours on the way home Sunday. Emily has got some better ones of us with the students in front of the big christmas tree, but here's a cute on of her and two of our 7th graders.
So that was the week before last. And the next blog (maybe I'll get to it later today) I can catch up on Thanksgiving! We had a good time :-)
Haha, I love this one!
I was proud of us because Kadian doesn't cry much (or so she says) and she cried several time that night :-)
I think it's funny that she's a little outlandish herself but she won't hesitate to give you a "What-ARE-you-doing?!" look and this is it:
Good times:-) After the party that night I decided I was going to work really hard to get all of my work done so I wouldn't have to do anything on Tuesday. But when we got to school Tuesday we heard about a retreat that the secondary students were going on that coming weekend. We just had to go! So my Tuesday off didn't really work out, but we did have a really nice weekend in Valle de Angeles (a small town outside of Teguz up in the mtns). Emily has most of the pictures but here are a few... (after we arrived of course, which was an adventure with our bus breaking down on the side of the highway, missing lunch, etc.)
One of the activities was going on a hike up one of the hills to a lookout, but no the picture here is not from the lookout because we never actually found it. We hiked up and up and up until the teachers all got separated with their groups of students and word got passed down that the leaders didn't know where they were going anymore. It was not so fun for the students but enjoy hiking anyway :-)
I wish I had more encouraging stories about good conversations I had with the students or how they were really encouraged, but really it was just a weekend of getting to know some of them a little better especially as the electricity went out for two hours Saturday night... haha, so many crazy things happened.
Finally we ended up at a mall for two hours on the way home Sunday. Emily has got some better ones of us with the students in front of the big christmas tree, but here's a cute on of her and two of our 7th graders.
So that was the week before last. And the next blog (maybe I'll get to it later today) I can catch up on Thanksgiving! We had a good time :-)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
A Thought on Suffering
It never ceases to amaze me at how many different messages can be pulled out of one piece of scripture. This morning before church Emily and I were listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler given to the students at Southern Seminary last fall. He was preaching from the same text that has been the closest thing to my theme verses for my time here as I've got, Hebrews 12. His sermon jumped around a little bit but the overall message was this:
there are faith victory stories and there are faith suffering stories (Heb 11), since you don't know which path you might be on you should answer this question "Is Jesus enough?"
This is a major paraphrase, but the gist of it is there. Is Jesus going to be enough if your story is one of suffering? Are you so intimately in love with Christ that no matter what else happens, you are going to be able to run the race marked out for you? To endure because of the joy set before you? In my own life, I have to answer that question with a "no." But here is the grace of God: at this point in my life he has not yet asked me to endure great suffering. The realization I have had since arriving here, however, is that he would have that right. He has the right to ask me to endure great suffering. And the mistake that I have made most often in my life and am willing to bet is a very common mistake among the believers I know is to not prepare for it. Practicing a reactionary faith rather than a operative faith.
Whether in great ways or small ways, trials of suffering are going to come to everyone. And it my mind, trained to think in college survival strategies, the way to go about surviving is to know your basic Biblical truths and be ready to turn to them as soon as the storm hits. Have that reflex ready to go. Practice that reflex well. So instead of simply remaining tethered to the anchor that can hold us secure, we know how to find it quickly when things turn south. That is my practice anyway. It allows us to live a comparatively effortless faith, that takes little self-discipline and little intentionality. But there is a good reason for Christ to have commanded us "Abide in me." Not come when you need to or come when you feel me drawing you or hang on to me in time of need. He says "Abide in me." (John 15) The goal here is not to weather the storms. The goal is to be fruitful. When I make this journey about surviving the storms, I am making God's invitation to me to participate in the grand story of his redemption and glory into a crutch to comfort me in hard times. Talk about throwing pearls to swine.
Holy Father, as you have taught our predecessors in the faith the true purpose and intention behind all that you have done and intend to do, teach it to us. Teach us the grand story that we might not think highly of ourselves but that we would understand in humility the part you have asked us to play, not for our own betterment but for the sake of your name that we now get to enjoy because of your salvation. Anchor our hearts to you, that we may abide in you and find joy in all circumstances.
Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
there are faith victory stories and there are faith suffering stories (Heb 11), since you don't know which path you might be on you should answer this question "Is Jesus enough?"
This is a major paraphrase, but the gist of it is there. Is Jesus going to be enough if your story is one of suffering? Are you so intimately in love with Christ that no matter what else happens, you are going to be able to run the race marked out for you? To endure because of the joy set before you? In my own life, I have to answer that question with a "no." But here is the grace of God: at this point in my life he has not yet asked me to endure great suffering. The realization I have had since arriving here, however, is that he would have that right. He has the right to ask me to endure great suffering. And the mistake that I have made most often in my life and am willing to bet is a very common mistake among the believers I know is to not prepare for it. Practicing a reactionary faith rather than a operative faith.
Whether in great ways or small ways, trials of suffering are going to come to everyone. And it my mind, trained to think in college survival strategies, the way to go about surviving is to know your basic Biblical truths and be ready to turn to them as soon as the storm hits. Have that reflex ready to go. Practice that reflex well. So instead of simply remaining tethered to the anchor that can hold us secure, we know how to find it quickly when things turn south. That is my practice anyway. It allows us to live a comparatively effortless faith, that takes little self-discipline and little intentionality. But there is a good reason for Christ to have commanded us "Abide in me." Not come when you need to or come when you feel me drawing you or hang on to me in time of need. He says "Abide in me." (John 15) The goal here is not to weather the storms. The goal is to be fruitful. When I make this journey about surviving the storms, I am making God's invitation to me to participate in the grand story of his redemption and glory into a crutch to comfort me in hard times. Talk about throwing pearls to swine.
Holy Father, as you have taught our predecessors in the faith the true purpose and intention behind all that you have done and intend to do, teach it to us. Teach us the grand story that we might not think highly of ourselves but that we would understand in humility the part you have asked us to play, not for our own betterment but for the sake of your name that we now get to enjoy because of your salvation. Anchor our hearts to you, that we may abide in you and find joy in all circumstances.
Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Quick Updates
Week one of November = already gone. Wow. Time is really flying by. Which has got me thinking about the rest of my time here...
What do I want to be able to say about the time I've spent here by next June? What will I regret not doing? You know, all of those big questions that are easier just to ignore... if you can. In a short discussion with Emily about it I decided that I needed to make some goals, so that I can focus my efforts instead of just wandering around with my feelers sticking out trying to get a tap on something that may or may not be there. All that to say, this week I am going to spend time praying for God to give me a handful of names of people (students, colleagues, Buen Pastor girls, etc.) that I should focus on trying to invest in and get to know. After all that's what Jesus did with his disciples, right?
In other news, the AIDS Festival (or Expo Sida in Spanish) was a riot. 5th thru 11th graders answering all kinds of questions about HIV/AIDS to play games and win prizes. There was also this great movie they showed about the consequences of poor choices in such subject matter. It was a pain trying to get the kids to stay quiet and listen, especially since they were sitting on the floor of the auditorium trying to lie down, play with each others hair, use their cell phones, etc. Discipline is my least favorite part of teaching... and maybe when kids fail my class. Right now I have about 22 of my 150 that failed this quarter. Not good. But apparently 22/150 isn't bad. And most of them were well aware that they were border line. The good part is that I can say with certainty that non of them failed for lack of intelligence, only lack of effort. Sad but true. If only there were some way to get them to understand the privilege of education and the benefit in their lives... the age-old battle of parents and teachers alike I'm sure. Lol.
More exciting news: my birthday is in 22 days! Thanksgiving is coming up! there are only 5 weeks until vacation! and ONLY 6 WEEKS UNTIL MY FAMILY GETS HERE! I am so excited about seeing them! Costa Rica and Copan, here I come!
What do I want to be able to say about the time I've spent here by next June? What will I regret not doing? You know, all of those big questions that are easier just to ignore... if you can. In a short discussion with Emily about it I decided that I needed to make some goals, so that I can focus my efforts instead of just wandering around with my feelers sticking out trying to get a tap on something that may or may not be there. All that to say, this week I am going to spend time praying for God to give me a handful of names of people (students, colleagues, Buen Pastor girls, etc.) that I should focus on trying to invest in and get to know. After all that's what Jesus did with his disciples, right?
In other news, the AIDS Festival (or Expo Sida in Spanish) was a riot. 5th thru 11th graders answering all kinds of questions about HIV/AIDS to play games and win prizes. There was also this great movie they showed about the consequences of poor choices in such subject matter. It was a pain trying to get the kids to stay quiet and listen, especially since they were sitting on the floor of the auditorium trying to lie down, play with each others hair, use their cell phones, etc. Discipline is my least favorite part of teaching... and maybe when kids fail my class. Right now I have about 22 of my 150 that failed this quarter. Not good. But apparently 22/150 isn't bad. And most of them were well aware that they were border line. The good part is that I can say with certainty that non of them failed for lack of intelligence, only lack of effort. Sad but true. If only there were some way to get them to understand the privilege of education and the benefit in their lives... the age-old battle of parents and teachers alike I'm sure. Lol.
More exciting news: my birthday is in 22 days! Thanksgiving is coming up! there are only 5 weeks until vacation! and ONLY 6 WEEKS UNTIL MY FAMILY GETS HERE! I am so excited about seeing them! Costa Rica and Copan, here I come!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Honduran Halloween
This past weekend... fun in its own Honduran sort of way, but missing Homecoming and Halloween all in the same weekend was not so much fun. Thankfully, we were able to figure out our own way to carve pumpkins, aka cutting out pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies with knives for lack of cookie-cutters, lol.
This week is exam week for the students, so thankfully we get to leave school at noon everyday! Except Thursday when we have a "festival" for AIDS awareness... yes, festival, complete with games and food if I understand correctly. A little unusual in my opinion, but we'll see how it goes :-)
On a more serious note... Here's the devotional from My Utmost for His Highest from yesterday:
Trial of Faith
It's fantastic and very applicable to what I feel myself going through right now. Some days are harder than others but all in all I'm learning a lot about God, myself, and my place in light of who God is. It's a pretty cool thing.
And right now I'm feeling a nap coming on, so I'm out :-)
And thanks to Mom, we had some Halloween plates to eat them off of :-) The beautiful finished products:
I still miss American football, fall leaves, hiking, and the first time the heat gets turned on, but next year it'll all just be so much more special :-) The challenge is appreciating everything that is going on here while missing things at home because I know that by the time June comes around I'm gonna wish that I'd enjoyed more things while I was here.
This week is exam week for the students, so thankfully we get to leave school at noon everyday! Except Thursday when we have a "festival" for AIDS awareness... yes, festival, complete with games and food if I understand correctly. A little unusual in my opinion, but we'll see how it goes :-)
On a more serious note... Here's the devotional from My Utmost for His Highest from yesterday:
Trial of Faith
It's fantastic and very applicable to what I feel myself going through right now. Some days are harder than others but all in all I'm learning a lot about God, myself, and my place in light of who God is. It's a pretty cool thing.
And right now I'm feeling a nap coming on, so I'm out :-)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Being a missionary is hard
It's very early on a Sunday morning and I'm gonna take advantage of the 20 minutes it's gonna take to download a David Platt sermon to update you all a bit more :-)
As I said in my post yesterday, these past two weeks have been really really hard. It really started a week ago today when my emotions and nerves just lost it. For two days I couldn't do any work when I got home. During classes throughout the day I was alright, at times on my last nerve, but I made it okay by God's strength. But when I would get home, fear, anxiety, sorrow... they would overwhelm me. After praying, talking, reading, and receiving counsel from some absolute God-sends, I've been able to sort through some of the things that have been gripping me. I've come to believe that my struggle is part emotional, where I'm missing people so badly and didn't realize it enough to process it, part practical, where there is just so much to do for school that it is easy to be overwhelmed, and part spiritual, where the devil knows my weakened state and has taken the opportunity to feed lies and doubt into my heart.
So far I have learned many truths that I'll continue to cling to through my time here. My prayer is that through this struggle I will learn to lean hard into my God, to trust his word in the midst of big storms even when I feel like I cannot see, and that ultimately, I will look more like my Savior, more prepared for more of his work (med school and beyond). I cannot pretend to know the full reasons why God has me here this year. If it is mostly for my refinement by fire I will rejoice with the strength God gives me because hardship is discipline and it means that my Father loves me enough to correct my human ways. If it is also to make his name famous among my students and the people I am around, all the better. If it is to encounter a single person that needs a single word of truth spoken into their life that can plant a seed of salvation, so be it. Mine is not to question. Mine is to be as obedient as I know how according to the strength God gives me everyday. It is critical that I learn that everything beyond that is out of my control.
Some fun things have also happened in the past week... We've stayed the night at Emily's parents house a few times, once playing "tia" (literally "aunt" but the name is used for the workers that help at the hogar and its projects) for them while the real tia took some vacation time. In the continuing sega of EA sports (Emily and Ashley) versus the Brewsters at Saturday night cards, we won for the second time last night! Lol. Same night as the Hilltoppers winning their first football game in two-ish years! Go Tops! Also, the other 4 teaching missionaries at the school live across the street and have invited us to come every night we're available to do a short praise and worship session after dinner. So far we've made it 2 or 3 times and it's been an INCREDIBLE blessing. So have the Brewsters for that matter, the way they have helped me through this past week. Praise God that even though I feel alone at times, I am NOT and he has provided the best of people to surround and support me, including the multitudes praying for me back home, the Brewsters here, Emily, who's had to put up with a lot through my struggle this week, the other missionaries, and even a few of the directors at school. And of course, the students can also be a joy and delight even when they don't do their homework and don't study for quizzes. Lol.
As my favorite hymn of the moment (and my theme song here so far) says: may this journey bring a blessing, may I rise on wings of faith, and at the end of my heart's testing, with your likeness let me wake.
As I said in my post yesterday, these past two weeks have been really really hard. It really started a week ago today when my emotions and nerves just lost it. For two days I couldn't do any work when I got home. During classes throughout the day I was alright, at times on my last nerve, but I made it okay by God's strength. But when I would get home, fear, anxiety, sorrow... they would overwhelm me. After praying, talking, reading, and receiving counsel from some absolute God-sends, I've been able to sort through some of the things that have been gripping me. I've come to believe that my struggle is part emotional, where I'm missing people so badly and didn't realize it enough to process it, part practical, where there is just so much to do for school that it is easy to be overwhelmed, and part spiritual, where the devil knows my weakened state and has taken the opportunity to feed lies and doubt into my heart.
So far I have learned many truths that I'll continue to cling to through my time here. My prayer is that through this struggle I will learn to lean hard into my God, to trust his word in the midst of big storms even when I feel like I cannot see, and that ultimately, I will look more like my Savior, more prepared for more of his work (med school and beyond). I cannot pretend to know the full reasons why God has me here this year. If it is mostly for my refinement by fire I will rejoice with the strength God gives me because hardship is discipline and it means that my Father loves me enough to correct my human ways. If it is also to make his name famous among my students and the people I am around, all the better. If it is to encounter a single person that needs a single word of truth spoken into their life that can plant a seed of salvation, so be it. Mine is not to question. Mine is to be as obedient as I know how according to the strength God gives me everyday. It is critical that I learn that everything beyond that is out of my control.
Some fun things have also happened in the past week... We've stayed the night at Emily's parents house a few times, once playing "tia" (literally "aunt" but the name is used for the workers that help at the hogar and its projects) for them while the real tia took some vacation time. In the continuing sega of EA sports (Emily and Ashley) versus the Brewsters at Saturday night cards, we won for the second time last night! Lol. Same night as the Hilltoppers winning their first football game in two-ish years! Go Tops! Also, the other 4 teaching missionaries at the school live across the street and have invited us to come every night we're available to do a short praise and worship session after dinner. So far we've made it 2 or 3 times and it's been an INCREDIBLE blessing. So have the Brewsters for that matter, the way they have helped me through this past week. Praise God that even though I feel alone at times, I am NOT and he has provided the best of people to surround and support me, including the multitudes praying for me back home, the Brewsters here, Emily, who's had to put up with a lot through my struggle this week, the other missionaries, and even a few of the directors at school. And of course, the students can also be a joy and delight even when they don't do their homework and don't study for quizzes. Lol.
As my favorite hymn of the moment (and my theme song here so far) says: may this journey bring a blessing, may I rise on wings of faith, and at the end of my heart's testing, with your likeness let me wake.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
The Things That Cannot Change
This blog is becoming really hard to keep up to-date. Partially for lack of time, but mostly because these past two weeks have been the hardest two weeks of my time here and likely of my adult life. Therefore, all of my attention and energy is being directed elsewhere.
However, this I do want to write as if to declare it. In this difficult time, truth being spoken into my heart and mind is one of the only things that gets me through. Here is the truth that I cling to this afternoon:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
And to this list, for my life, I'm going to add that being separated from my family cannot and will not separate me from the love of my Father. Loneliness cannot and will not separate me from the love of my Father. Being estranged from the places and things that are familiar to me cannot separate me from the love of God that has been evidently and undeniably been poured out on me. To the devil that wills me to doubt: your time is coming.
May God's purposes be accomplished to our salvation and his glory.
However, this I do want to write as if to declare it. In this difficult time, truth being spoken into my heart and mind is one of the only things that gets me through. Here is the truth that I cling to this afternoon:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
And to this list, for my life, I'm going to add that being separated from my family cannot and will not separate me from the love of my Father. Loneliness cannot and will not separate me from the love of my Father. Being estranged from the places and things that are familiar to me cannot separate me from the love of God that has been evidently and undeniably been poured out on me. To the devil that wills me to doubt: your time is coming.
May God's purposes be accomplished to our salvation and his glory.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The funny side...
Its sad that it takes two weeks to update a blog, but in all fairness I knew that my follow up would be slow and I am a teacher with limited time on my hands:-)
Anyhow, the school fundraising festival was last Thursday. They called it Las Champas. The best translation we could come up with was a bizarre. There were booths from the different grades with typical Honduran foods (I had enchiladas... not exactly the same as the enchiladas you get at Puerto). Unfortunately the rain forced the traditional dance competition inside but the burro Hondurano (Honduran donkey) was left tied up on the basketball court, ha!
What else can I tell you about the past week? Oh! Of course... Teaching the 5th graders about fertilization. In case you wanted to know, when you ask a 5th grader to describe what a spermatazoid looks like, they aren't going to tell you color or size but things like: "It looks like a microphone!" and "It looks like a mouse!" If thought I could get away with laughing during this particular lesson I would have but I don't think it would've set a good precedent for the kids. Lol.
Two funny things from today: I got asked if I slept well last night cause my eyes looked Chinese (squinty maybe was the point? ha) and I found out that it is possible to "floss cut" your finger (as opposed to paper cut):
No bandaids in the house for some reason, so yes that is a paper towel and masking tape, lol. I wouldn't have bothered but Emily did happen to have neosporin so... ya.
To top the past two weeks off, we got a package from my grandma in the mail! It was full of goodies, but my personal favorite....
Yes, that is two beautiful bags of cinnamon toast crunch!
I'm so glad God is a god that enjoys humor ;-) This past week I tried to explain that concept to one of my classes by telling them to try to look at a zebra without laughing... They didn't quite get it. Now that I think about it, they don't often get my jokes... The one time I really remember one of the students laughing at something I said was when I interrupted a computer class and the teacher introduced me to the 10th graders (whom I don't teach) and explained I was going to be a doctor. They were working on diagnosing a broken computer at the time, so his comment was that I would be doing the same thing but on people. My reply was
"yes, but it will be a lot messier than this." Most of the class just stared at me, but one girl laughed. It made me happy :-)
What else... Oh, ya. Emily is learning the high school musical dance to "We're all in this together." And I have video to prove it!
So, its good that life here is not altogether boring even though most weekdays are filled from start to finish with teaching, grading, and planning. I still think my calling is in the medical direction, lol.
Faith or Experience - Chambers
Anyhow, the school fundraising festival was last Thursday. They called it Las Champas. The best translation we could come up with was a bizarre. There were booths from the different grades with typical Honduran foods (I had enchiladas... not exactly the same as the enchiladas you get at Puerto). Unfortunately the rain forced the traditional dance competition inside but the burro Hondurano (Honduran donkey) was left tied up on the basketball court, ha!
What else can I tell you about the past week? Oh! Of course... Teaching the 5th graders about fertilization. In case you wanted to know, when you ask a 5th grader to describe what a spermatazoid looks like, they aren't going to tell you color or size but things like: "It looks like a microphone!" and "It looks like a mouse!" If thought I could get away with laughing during this particular lesson I would have but I don't think it would've set a good precedent for the kids. Lol.
Two funny things from today: I got asked if I slept well last night cause my eyes looked Chinese (squinty maybe was the point? ha) and I found out that it is possible to "floss cut" your finger (as opposed to paper cut):
No bandaids in the house for some reason, so yes that is a paper towel and masking tape, lol. I wouldn't have bothered but Emily did happen to have neosporin so... ya.
To top the past two weeks off, we got a package from my grandma in the mail! It was full of goodies, but my personal favorite....
Yes, that is two beautiful bags of cinnamon toast crunch!
I'm so glad God is a god that enjoys humor ;-) This past week I tried to explain that concept to one of my classes by telling them to try to look at a zebra without laughing... They didn't quite get it. Now that I think about it, they don't often get my jokes... The one time I really remember one of the students laughing at something I said was when I interrupted a computer class and the teacher introduced me to the 10th graders (whom I don't teach) and explained I was going to be a doctor. They were working on diagnosing a broken computer at the time, so his comment was that I would be doing the same thing but on people. My reply was
"yes, but it will be a lot messier than this." Most of the class just stared at me, but one girl laughed. It made me happy :-)
What else... Oh, ya. Emily is learning the high school musical dance to "We're all in this together." And I have video to prove it!
So, its good that life here is not altogether boring even though most weekdays are filled from start to finish with teaching, grading, and planning. I still think my calling is in the medical direction, lol.
Faith or Experience - Chambers
Sunday, September 26, 2010
The Trade
Life here is simpler in a lot of ways than in the States. Or perhaps a better way to put it is that life here is less exciting :-) You know its true when the highlight of your week is going to a soccer game on the weekend just to get out of the house and be able to talk to some different people. I won't go so far as to say that life is boring, because there's always work to do and I do enjoy it. But... in the way of recreation Comayagua falta (is lacking). All that to say, I hope we get to go hiking soon because I need to do something different and outside before I go crazy.
This past Friday we had our first round of parent/teacher conferences. It was crazy. The parents basically came into the classrooms seeking out the teachers they wished to talked to and we would meet with them as they came. Meaning that I was trying to talk to parents from 8th then 5th then 7th then another from 8th then two from 5th and one from 6th and.... you get the idea. Next time I'll know what to expect and be prepared to whip out any grade for any student at a second's notice. I kept teasing Emily about being nervous about the meetings... turns out she knew better than me. Thankfully, none of the parents were rude or obnoxious, but you definitely felt like your work as a teacher was being scrutinized. Which isn't normally a big deal to me because I do pretty good work... but normally I know what I'm doing. It's been a major stretch for me to not know what I'm doing and be under scrutiny at the same time. God gives me the strength for everyday and that's the only reason I've made it this far (and I'll probably keep saying that even at the risk of sounding like a broken record :-)
This morning at church we talked about many things: God's grace and mercy, our need of forgiveness, light vs darkness... but one of the verses we read reminded me of something I need to remember in my work here. The verse was John 10:10 "the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Sometimes during the weeks here it is difficult to see where the "full life" is supposed to be. Between the lack of recreational activities and the uphill battles at school, life seems difficult and dry on occasion. Even in my life in the States I struggled with this: seeing the full life God has for me amidst the everyday things. But here is what the Christian walk is about: trading what is good for what is better. The treasure in the field. The pearl of great price. The kingdom of God is about trading what is good for what is best. And that's what my weeks should be about here.
I have traded this year with my family and friends and starting medical school for this year in Honduras teaching science to students in hopes of sharing the gospel with them in the process. Because of the call I felt to come, I have no doubt that the trade was for the better. But I have to remember to keep making that trade every day that I'm here. To remember that I did not give up this year to struggle through a difficult task by my own strength, weary myself, and come out the other side empty-handed. I gave it up to pursue a new adventure through the strength of my Father that his will might be done and his name given more fame. My prayer today is that I remember the trade. That I remember every morning to lay down what is good for what is better. Beauty for ashes.
God is so good at making all things new :-)
This past Friday we had our first round of parent/teacher conferences. It was crazy. The parents basically came into the classrooms seeking out the teachers they wished to talked to and we would meet with them as they came. Meaning that I was trying to talk to parents from 8th then 5th then 7th then another from 8th then two from 5th and one from 6th and.... you get the idea. Next time I'll know what to expect and be prepared to whip out any grade for any student at a second's notice. I kept teasing Emily about being nervous about the meetings... turns out she knew better than me. Thankfully, none of the parents were rude or obnoxious, but you definitely felt like your work as a teacher was being scrutinized. Which isn't normally a big deal to me because I do pretty good work... but normally I know what I'm doing. It's been a major stretch for me to not know what I'm doing and be under scrutiny at the same time. God gives me the strength for everyday and that's the only reason I've made it this far (and I'll probably keep saying that even at the risk of sounding like a broken record :-)
This morning at church we talked about many things: God's grace and mercy, our need of forgiveness, light vs darkness... but one of the verses we read reminded me of something I need to remember in my work here. The verse was John 10:10 "the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Sometimes during the weeks here it is difficult to see where the "full life" is supposed to be. Between the lack of recreational activities and the uphill battles at school, life seems difficult and dry on occasion. Even in my life in the States I struggled with this: seeing the full life God has for me amidst the everyday things. But here is what the Christian walk is about: trading what is good for what is better. The treasure in the field. The pearl of great price. The kingdom of God is about trading what is good for what is best. And that's what my weeks should be about here.
I have traded this year with my family and friends and starting medical school for this year in Honduras teaching science to students in hopes of sharing the gospel with them in the process. Because of the call I felt to come, I have no doubt that the trade was for the better. But I have to remember to keep making that trade every day that I'm here. To remember that I did not give up this year to struggle through a difficult task by my own strength, weary myself, and come out the other side empty-handed. I gave it up to pursue a new adventure through the strength of my Father that his will might be done and his name given more fame. My prayer today is that I remember the trade. That I remember every morning to lay down what is good for what is better. Beauty for ashes.
God is so good at making all things new :-)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Science AND God (not "or")
Upcoming this next week at school are my two greatest teaching challenges I foresee having this year: teaching human reproduction to the 5th graders and teaching on Creation & evolution to the 5th, 6th, and 7th graders... Let's leave the former and just talk about the latter.
The principal has requested on no uncertain terms that I teach a literal interpretation of Creation to the students in line with the values and beliefs of the school. On the one hand I want to honor that request and respect the school's beliefs. But, I don't agree with that interpretation. In my desire to be a good teacher, I am desperate to share with the students my understanding of science and God and how they are intimately connected, not in opposition to each other. My fear is causing the students to think that they either have to believe the Scripture literally OR believe the scientific research that’s been done.
It is a dangerous road to propose that such a significant part of the Word is directly opposed to scientific study: 1) because I do not believe God calls us to belief separate from intelligence and 2) because all science does is study the world that our Creator created. Science is not evil.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Adventure #... I've lost count.
We made it back from Tegucigalpa last night and what a blessing it was to have been out of Comayagua for a few days! Here's quick run down of the trip:
It started with me waking up late (7:15 a.m., lol) and we headed to the station to catch a bus at 9:00 to Teguc. When we got to the bus station we found out that there was a riot on the way in a town called Flores, meaning they weren't letting anyone pass on the main road, obviously, lol. No buses had left for Teguc yet that morning, so the driver decided since it was already 9 they'd give it a try. It's transportation like this that makes me understand why Hondurans are never really concerned about being places on time, haha.
Anyway, several firsts of the weekend:
*watched my first TV show in a month and a half
*flushed toilet paper down the toilet for the first time
*AND drove a car for the first time in Honduras! (and maybe the only time that'll happen, lol)
We went to a few of the malls, a bowling alley, and then drove outside the city a bit into the mountains and visited a little town called Valle de los Angeles. All in all it was uneventful, but very nice to be doing something different for a few days. Then of course it was back to planning for classes...
Such is the life as a teacher here :-)
We stayed overnight with the University students from the hogar. There was only one girl in the girls' apartment this particular night, a medical student. I didn't get to talk to her a whole lot, but I imagined myself trying to go through med school without the love and support of a family... I didn't like it. I thank God for giving me everything I need to do what he's called me to and I praise him for making some stronger than I that he'll use for his purposes too.
And the next great challenge is teaching evolution in the adventist school... I'll blog about that tomorrow :-)
It started with me waking up late (7:15 a.m., lol) and we headed to the station to catch a bus at 9:00 to Teguc. When we got to the bus station we found out that there was a riot on the way in a town called Flores, meaning they weren't letting anyone pass on the main road, obviously, lol. No buses had left for Teguc yet that morning, so the driver decided since it was already 9 they'd give it a try. It's transportation like this that makes me understand why Hondurans are never really concerned about being places on time, haha.
Anyway, several firsts of the weekend:
*watched my first TV show in a month and a half
*flushed toilet paper down the toilet for the first time
*AND drove a car for the first time in Honduras! (and maybe the only time that'll happen, lol)
We went to a few of the malls, a bowling alley, and then drove outside the city a bit into the mountains and visited a little town called Valle de los Angeles. All in all it was uneventful, but very nice to be doing something different for a few days. Then of course it was back to planning for classes...
Such is the life as a teacher here :-)
We stayed overnight with the University students from the hogar. There was only one girl in the girls' apartment this particular night, a medical student. I didn't get to talk to her a whole lot, but I imagined myself trying to go through med school without the love and support of a family... I didn't like it. I thank God for giving me everything I need to do what he's called me to and I praise him for making some stronger than I that he'll use for his purposes too.
And the next great challenge is teaching evolution in the adventist school... I'll blog about that tomorrow :-)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
La vida de una maestra...
The life of a teacher... is BUSY. Especially when you are teaching 8 classes, working at an orphanage two afternoons a week, and taking Spanish lessons. The first two weeks have been nothing short of intense and nothing short of extrordinary. Hopefully I can fill you in, in relatively short order.
First of all, praise God for my students! Some of them are difficult, complainers, lazy, and a thousand other things, but I already love them! My greatest desire is to be a light to them and I feel so inadequate for the task but I pray God will show me ways more and more as I continue forward. And yes, we've only had 12 days of classes and I already know all of their names. I hate to brag but I'm pretty proud of that one :-)
And although the details of some of the classes this passed week may make for interesting reading, I'd rather talk about how we are done with classes for the week! Sept 15th (today) is El Dia de Independencia for Honduras! Did we get to get out of classes Wed, Thurs, and Fri? yes! Did we get to march in a parade with our school? yes! You can check out Facebook soon for more pictures but here are a few:
It was hot, but a lot of fun! I may have mentioned in a blog before that when Americans (especially females) walk down the street there is a lot of yelling that happens and kissy face noises that are made. My comment to Emily was: Ya know, this is the first time that I've walked down the street here and not felt self-conscious and I'm in a PARADE. How ironic. Lol. Thankfully, today there were plenty of things more interesting then me to look at!
Tomorrow we're hoping to go to Tegucigalpa (the capital) so I can see it for the first time and next week I get to start teaching some interesting topics like reproduction, Creation, and evolution. Look forward to reading blogs about those soon :-)
Miss you all! Love you all! And God is good. Thank you for the prayers.
First of all, praise God for my students! Some of them are difficult, complainers, lazy, and a thousand other things, but I already love them! My greatest desire is to be a light to them and I feel so inadequate for the task but I pray God will show me ways more and more as I continue forward. And yes, we've only had 12 days of classes and I already know all of their names. I hate to brag but I'm pretty proud of that one :-)
And although the details of some of the classes this passed week may make for interesting reading, I'd rather talk about how we are done with classes for the week! Sept 15th (today) is El Dia de Independencia for Honduras! Did we get to get out of classes Wed, Thurs, and Fri? yes! Did we get to march in a parade with our school? yes! You can check out Facebook soon for more pictures but here are a few:
It was hot, but a lot of fun! I may have mentioned in a blog before that when Americans (especially females) walk down the street there is a lot of yelling that happens and kissy face noises that are made. My comment to Emily was: Ya know, this is the first time that I've walked down the street here and not felt self-conscious and I'm in a PARADE. How ironic. Lol. Thankfully, today there were plenty of things more interesting then me to look at!
Tomorrow we're hoping to go to Tegucigalpa (the capital) so I can see it for the first time and next week I get to start teaching some interesting topics like reproduction, Creation, and evolution. Look forward to reading blogs about those soon :-)
Miss you all! Love you all! And God is good. Thank you for the prayers.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Ten days later...
Man I really need to update. Maybe when I need to take a break from planning and writing quizzes tomorrow.
For now, God is God and he is good. Amen?
For now, God is God and he is good. Amen?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
No hay problema
Sometimes I forget how much I truly enjoy the feeling of a challenge that shapes and grows you. If teaching at the Marantha Bilingual School is like climbing a mountain, I'm a novice climber with a scribble on a piece of paper for a map. Fortunately, there are some experienced teachers that are willing to answer questions and re-explain things when things get lost in cultural translation.
My first few days have been... really good all things considered. Praise the Lord that I don't feel defeated or totally exhausted yet. But I understand now why the teachers' reply to Emily's question about what they do in their free time was, "free time? what free time?" Although they do manage to play a game or two of futbol every week.
Here's the run down of my day: wake up at 4:30, yes that is a.m. Eat, pray, read, get dressed, make lunch and out the door by 6:30 (most mornings). Needless to say, doing laundry by hand in the pila has fallen to the wayside and we'll be using the washing machine on the weekends from now on :-) Get to school, have devotions with the other teachers, and go to class #1, which on any given day is different or might even be a break period for me. Class #2 is always 7th grade section B, but after that there's no telling depending on the day. Thursdays are the worst because I teach 6 forty minute classes in a row; we'll see if I can survive after that tomorrow. The kids leave at two thirty and we get to leave at two forty-five. The afternoons are full of either Spanish class or library work at the hogar, then dinner, then maybe an hour of planning for the next day then bed. But I've discovered that the desire to do something... fun can keep you up late even if you know you've gotta be up at 4:30. Hence the reason why I'm blogging at almost 10 at night. Let's talk about vicious cycles, ha.
So, can I do this for a year? No problem. Right?
No seriously, it has been a wonderful experience so far. Stretching me for SURE. But I figure I need as many "what doesn't kill you only..." experiences before med school as I can get :-)
I could spend another two hours just describing how different the system here is than the one in the States, but I'll just give you one example and leave it at that for now: I am not permitted to test over material that I have already given a quiz over....wait... what??? And I'm required to give 3 quizzes and 1 test every quarter. Figure that one.
The bottom line: God is good. He loves the kids and wants to love the kids through me. And I'm doing my best to let him, even when I miss...well... everyone.
My first few days have been... really good all things considered. Praise the Lord that I don't feel defeated or totally exhausted yet. But I understand now why the teachers' reply to Emily's question about what they do in their free time was, "free time? what free time?" Although they do manage to play a game or two of futbol every week.
Here's the run down of my day: wake up at 4:30, yes that is a.m. Eat, pray, read, get dressed, make lunch and out the door by 6:30 (most mornings). Needless to say, doing laundry by hand in the pila has fallen to the wayside and we'll be using the washing machine on the weekends from now on :-) Get to school, have devotions with the other teachers, and go to class #1, which on any given day is different or might even be a break period for me. Class #2 is always 7th grade section B, but after that there's no telling depending on the day. Thursdays are the worst because I teach 6 forty minute classes in a row; we'll see if I can survive after that tomorrow. The kids leave at two thirty and we get to leave at two forty-five. The afternoons are full of either Spanish class or library work at the hogar, then dinner, then maybe an hour of planning for the next day then bed. But I've discovered that the desire to do something... fun can keep you up late even if you know you've gotta be up at 4:30. Hence the reason why I'm blogging at almost 10 at night. Let's talk about vicious cycles, ha.
So, can I do this for a year? No problem. Right?
No seriously, it has been a wonderful experience so far. Stretching me for SURE. But I figure I need as many "what doesn't kill you only..." experiences before med school as I can get :-)
I could spend another two hours just describing how different the system here is than the one in the States, but I'll just give you one example and leave it at that for now: I am not permitted to test over material that I have already given a quiz over....wait... what??? And I'm required to give 3 quizzes and 1 test every quarter. Figure that one.
The bottom line: God is good. He loves the kids and wants to love the kids through me. And I'm doing my best to let him, even when I miss...well... everyone.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Maniac Monday
So it's only actually Sunday, but it seemed like an appropriate anticipatory title for tomorrow. Plus, Emily and I are listening to her 80's play list as we make final preparations for tomorrow.
Let's start by summing up the weekend: Friday was largely uneventful, but we walked to the city square and got ice cream before a last minute game of Hand and Foot with Emily's parents (which we DID win despite what the critics say). Yes, we have one more win to get before we catch up to them, but still... Saturday was cleaning (no pila cleaning this time), then watching the university guys from the granja play soccer, then playing soccer with the ninos at the granja, and finally Pizza Hut with Emily's parents. I think my favorite part was getting ant bites at the soccer game and having to ice one of them this morning to keep it from itching (sarcasm doesn't translate very well here, so that was me getting in my quota for the day). I learned that I am actually not that bad at futbol when I play against the little guys, but it's mostly cause my legs are twice as long as theirs, not so much because I'm more skilled. Lol.
The mystery of the week: the strange seed piles that keep appearing outside our patio door. A new pile appears about every two days and consists of 6-12 seeds. The patio is totally walled in with the only entrance being through the house. If anyone can Encyclopedia Brown that one for me, I'd appreciate it.
Other than that, I feel as ready for tomorrow as I probably can under the circumstances and as terrible as it is I draw some comfort from knowing that I'm at least more prepared than the other missionaries that only got their teaching assignments four days ago. I know I'm a terrible person. But I'm praying that we all can be a very positive influence for Christ on our students this year. It's a pretty great group of girls :-)
The last exciting note of the day: Emily and I have a house in the Cayman Islands whenever we want it. That's our payment for helping our friend David with his classroom decor.
Thank you all so much for your prayers. I'll let you know how day one goes... by Friday hopefully.
Let's start by summing up the weekend: Friday was largely uneventful, but we walked to the city square and got ice cream before a last minute game of Hand and Foot with Emily's parents (which we DID win despite what the critics say). Yes, we have one more win to get before we catch up to them, but still... Saturday was cleaning (no pila cleaning this time), then watching the university guys from the granja play soccer, then playing soccer with the ninos at the granja, and finally Pizza Hut with Emily's parents. I think my favorite part was getting ant bites at the soccer game and having to ice one of them this morning to keep it from itching (sarcasm doesn't translate very well here, so that was me getting in my quota for the day). I learned that I am actually not that bad at futbol when I play against the little guys, but it's mostly cause my legs are twice as long as theirs, not so much because I'm more skilled. Lol.
The mystery of the week: the strange seed piles that keep appearing outside our patio door. A new pile appears about every two days and consists of 6-12 seeds. The patio is totally walled in with the only entrance being through the house. If anyone can Encyclopedia Brown that one for me, I'd appreciate it.
Other than that, I feel as ready for tomorrow as I probably can under the circumstances and as terrible as it is I draw some comfort from knowing that I'm at least more prepared than the other missionaries that only got their teaching assignments four days ago. I know I'm a terrible person. But I'm praying that we all can be a very positive influence for Christ on our students this year. It's a pretty great group of girls :-)
The last exciting note of the day: Emily and I have a house in the Cayman Islands whenever we want it. That's our payment for helping our friend David with his classroom decor.
Thank you all so much for your prayers. I'll let you know how day one goes... by Friday hopefully.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Futbol, lattes, and frustration...
Yes, Wednesday I played my first game of soccer in Honduras in La Canchita (let's just say it's an outdoor indoor soccer court and you can use your imagination). It was a ton of fun. I don't think it hurt that Emily and I really needed to work off some frustration from this week at the school :-) Now, I don't really want to write about all the frustrating things that happened this week, but I'll just say that the culture and way of doing things here is very very different than what we're used to and we feel very unprepared for school on Monday. Is that going to change by worrying about it? Not at all. So I'm gonna move on...
During my short time here so far, I have discovered a dimension of our God that although had been within my realm of knowledge, I had not known this character of God as I do now. That is God as our provider. And I am as aware as anyone about how cliche that sounds. Unlike the typical story about God providing last minute needed financing for this or that, my discovery has been somewhat different. I don't know how else to explain it other than I feel physically and personally cared for by my heavenly Father through the material things he's provided me for my year here. One good example is the house that Emily and I are staying in. By all standards (especially Honduran standards) it's HUGE for only two people. But it gives us the escape from school we need, our own space to be by ourselves and be with the Lord, and room to just be calm and breathe after a hard day at work.
It's different, though, than just being thankful for what I've been given because here it's not just being thankful for things I get to have... it's more like a lack of worry about things (material things) in general because I have every thing I need. As though God is (and I know he is) providing all that we need to be empowered to do our work here, but also to be cared for enough such that my mind is not ever occupied with worry or care about material things. It frees my mind up to focus solely on what is important, solely on my mission of sharing the gospel.
It's a different perspective that is difficult to explain so I hope it made sense, especially since my writing gets exponentially more confusing to follow after 9:30 now. Maybe one more reiteration will help: He's shown me that he is provider in many more ways than last minute hero stuff. He provides daily, not only physical things, but also mental and emotional ones. And in my case, material things in order to provide peace of mind, which is a mental/emotional thing... ya, something like that.
The bottom line is this, and be reminded and encouraged if you have forgotten recently: God cares for his children. We often and easily forget that his provisions are grace not our right, but he gives generously anyway because he is slow to anger, full of patience, and abounding in love. He cares for us. Individually, specifically, personally. He has not forgotten you, overlooked your needs, or procrastinated in attending to you. I accuse him of that all too often (of course ever accusing him of that is too often, but you know what I mean). We have been given grace, things we don't deserve, the love and attention of a Father we don't deserve. Don't feel guilty or defensive if you struggle with gratefulness, we all have that struggle. As I'm learning here even orphans in the middle of Honduras have that struggle. But do not let your struggle with ungratefulness become an internal debate about the character of God. He is always good, always caring, always attentive. We don't feel it and it is hard to believe, but that is our struggle not a question of the character of a God who is greater than our hearts.
Well, that ended up going a direction I didn't mean to. Anyhow...
Walked to the mall today to get an iced latte during lunch break, my first since being here (iced latte, not lunch break). It was delicious! (Que rico!) And I couldn't help but sit there and think "How unspiritual is it that I'm sitting as a 'missionary' in a developing country sitting in one of the nicest places in town sipping a latte?" but I couldn't help but sit there and think, "The Lord is good."
During my short time here so far, I have discovered a dimension of our God that although had been within my realm of knowledge, I had not known this character of God as I do now. That is God as our provider. And I am as aware as anyone about how cliche that sounds. Unlike the typical story about God providing last minute needed financing for this or that, my discovery has been somewhat different. I don't know how else to explain it other than I feel physically and personally cared for by my heavenly Father through the material things he's provided me for my year here. One good example is the house that Emily and I are staying in. By all standards (especially Honduran standards) it's HUGE for only two people. But it gives us the escape from school we need, our own space to be by ourselves and be with the Lord, and room to just be calm and breathe after a hard day at work.
It's different, though, than just being thankful for what I've been given because here it's not just being thankful for things I get to have... it's more like a lack of worry about things (material things) in general because I have every thing I need. As though God is (and I know he is) providing all that we need to be empowered to do our work here, but also to be cared for enough such that my mind is not ever occupied with worry or care about material things. It frees my mind up to focus solely on what is important, solely on my mission of sharing the gospel.
It's a different perspective that is difficult to explain so I hope it made sense, especially since my writing gets exponentially more confusing to follow after 9:30 now. Maybe one more reiteration will help: He's shown me that he is provider in many more ways than last minute hero stuff. He provides daily, not only physical things, but also mental and emotional ones. And in my case, material things in order to provide peace of mind, which is a mental/emotional thing... ya, something like that.
The bottom line is this, and be reminded and encouraged if you have forgotten recently: God cares for his children. We often and easily forget that his provisions are grace not our right, but he gives generously anyway because he is slow to anger, full of patience, and abounding in love. He cares for us. Individually, specifically, personally. He has not forgotten you, overlooked your needs, or procrastinated in attending to you. I accuse him of that all too often (of course ever accusing him of that is too often, but you know what I mean). We have been given grace, things we don't deserve, the love and attention of a Father we don't deserve. Don't feel guilty or defensive if you struggle with gratefulness, we all have that struggle. As I'm learning here even orphans in the middle of Honduras have that struggle. But do not let your struggle with ungratefulness become an internal debate about the character of God. He is always good, always caring, always attentive. We don't feel it and it is hard to believe, but that is our struggle not a question of the character of a God who is greater than our hearts.
Well, that ended up going a direction I didn't mean to. Anyhow...
Walked to the mall today to get an iced latte during lunch break, my first since being here (iced latte, not lunch break). It was delicious! (Que rico!) And I couldn't help but sit there and think "How unspiritual is it that I'm sitting as a 'missionary' in a developing country sitting in one of the nicest places in town sipping a latte?" but I couldn't help but sit there and think, "The Lord is good."
Monday, August 23, 2010
Lessons learned in Honduras thus far...
1) Don't go anywhere by yourself unless you're taking a taxi and you know exactly how to say where you're going. (and you may want to make sure that the taxi is willing to go where you want before you get in otherwise you might just have to get right back out and look a fool in front of the locals)
2) Don't wear silly bands or anything around your wrists to the hogar because the girls WILL take them away from you and not bring them back.
3) Sweep and mop and take out the trash. It's dusty and toilet paper goes in the trash so this is essential.
4) Always keep a rain coat handy and don't leave your laundry outside to dry if you won't be back before 2 pm (it'll get rained on).
5) NEVER repeat something before you know what it means, especially if boys are telling you to say it.
6) If you're gonna teach, check the curriculum before you agree to teach the class or you might get stuck teaching agriculture and human reproduction.
And I'm sure the list will continue until the day I leave. Lol.
2) Don't wear silly bands or anything around your wrists to the hogar because the girls WILL take them away from you and not bring them back.
3) Sweep and mop and take out the trash. It's dusty and toilet paper goes in the trash so this is essential.
4) Always keep a rain coat handy and don't leave your laundry outside to dry if you won't be back before 2 pm (it'll get rained on).
5) NEVER repeat something before you know what it means, especially if boys are telling you to say it.
6) If you're gonna teach, check the curriculum before you agree to teach the class or you might get stuck teaching agriculture and human reproduction.
And I'm sure the list will continue until the day I leave. Lol.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The beginning of week two...
Tomorrow is the first day of our second week at school. Well the second week of planning anyhow (and the last one). Which brings about a set of mixed emotions. Nerves obviously because I've never managed or taught a classroom before. Excitement because part of me is ready to just dive in, see how bad it's going to be and start improving on it. And probably a thousands feelings in between and beside. All in all, I have to say I'm doing better than I thought I might.
Today was a good day. At church this morning there was an American mission team, meaning the service was translated into English :-) Very refreshing. And we were able to bring the young moms from one of Emily's parent's projects "Buen Pastor" several of whom supposedly accepted Christ last week. Fantastic! It didn't hurt that we showed up early for church so made a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts right before the service.
Next was a soccer game and having five of the guys from the soccer team/the farm (Granja, boys orphange) over to the house for dinner on a spur of the moment invite. It took a little while to clean up but thankfully one of the guys did most of the cooking so it wasn't bad. To answer the questions that I know some of you will teasingly ask the answer is NO. Enough said about that.
Going into this week my prayer requests are largely the same: rest, strength, wisdom, and beginning today homesickness :-/ I am beginning to miss friends and family especially on Sundays and its hard, but our God is indeed a good Father, yes? He continues to remind me that such sacrifices are a beautiful thing and precious to him when they are made in the service of his kingdom.
A young mother, age 19, was sitting by me in church this morning with her young daughter as I was tearing up a bit from missing family. I stood there during the worship music holding her little girl for her so that she could rest her arms and realized something... In America I was so far disconnected from people like this precious mother who is living in Buen Pastor because her family didn't have enough money to support her and who may or may not have chosen to have this child. But here I can laugh with her using my limited Spanish, hold her child during the service, show her love in simple ways, for the cost of missing my family this particular Sunday. Is it simple, yes. Does it make a global impact on the world, no. Do I believe that God will do much greater things than these as I am willing to obey, undoubtedly.
I just hope I'm ready.
(Oh, and I never got the video from the previous post to load, but it's on Facebook now. Look under my videos to find it :-)
Today was a good day. At church this morning there was an American mission team, meaning the service was translated into English :-) Very refreshing. And we were able to bring the young moms from one of Emily's parent's projects "Buen Pastor" several of whom supposedly accepted Christ last week. Fantastic! It didn't hurt that we showed up early for church so made a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts right before the service.
Next was a soccer game and having five of the guys from the soccer team/the farm (Granja, boys orphange) over to the house for dinner on a spur of the moment invite. It took a little while to clean up but thankfully one of the guys did most of the cooking so it wasn't bad. To answer the questions that I know some of you will teasingly ask the answer is NO. Enough said about that.
Going into this week my prayer requests are largely the same: rest, strength, wisdom, and beginning today homesickness :-/ I am beginning to miss friends and family especially on Sundays and its hard, but our God is indeed a good Father, yes? He continues to remind me that such sacrifices are a beautiful thing and precious to him when they are made in the service of his kingdom.
A young mother, age 19, was sitting by me in church this morning with her young daughter as I was tearing up a bit from missing family. I stood there during the worship music holding her little girl for her so that she could rest her arms and realized something... In America I was so far disconnected from people like this precious mother who is living in Buen Pastor because her family didn't have enough money to support her and who may or may not have chosen to have this child. But here I can laugh with her using my limited Spanish, hold her child during the service, show her love in simple ways, for the cost of missing my family this particular Sunday. Is it simple, yes. Does it make a global impact on the world, no. Do I believe that God will do much greater things than these as I am willing to obey, undoubtedly.
I just hope I'm ready.
(Oh, and I never got the video from the previous post to load, but it's on Facebook now. Look under my videos to find it :-)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Who knew you had to clean out a pila?
There's a video that should be here... but it's not working yet :-)
Friday, August 20, 2010
It's a special kind of beauty
So you may have noticed, I changed the name of my blog... So, I guess I should explain why :-) Other than the fact, of course, that the previous title was lame and intended to be temporary until I could come up with something better.
In English, "en vasos de barro" means "in jars of clay." I came across a passage this evening that I hadn't read in quite awhile that jumped off the page at me. Really the passage was the entire chapter of 2 Cor 4. Go read it when you have time. But more specifically verses 6 and 7 read:
"For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us."
I wish I could even begin to put into words how applicable those sentences are to where I find myself right now... in a place of humility realizing that I have never had a platform anywhere near as influential as the one I'll have with these 200 some odd students beginning a week from Monday. Not to mention the girls at the hogar, Buen Pastor, and Misericordia ministries, all my coworkers and the community. If for no other reason than I stand out like a sore thumb here because I'm fair skinned with blue eyes, I have a platform. But I've also been dubbed a missionary by the school and have 200ish students listening to me teach everyday... it's hard to comprehend the opportunity and responsibility I've been given here.
But the point, of course, is not that I have a larger sphere of spiritual influence then I've ever had, but that I have been given the knowledge of the glory of God, the knowledge of Jesus Christ. And therefore, I have a debt to pay anyone and everyone I encounter who does not know, know of the gospel or know of the grace extended to us by our Savior.
And furthermore, that it is in jars of clay God chose to place this treasure. That the glory would not be the vessel's but every eye would be transfixed upon the treasure alone.
Whether or not all of that translated to you, I don't really know. But it is a beauty of a vary unique sort to be a vessel that exists not to be anything to look at, but to be as simple and unembellished as possible so as to bring the greatest amount of attention to the treasure you hold.
Perhaps it is the nature of the expectations of the 7th Day Adventists at the school with their no make-up and no jewelry policies or the way people won't stop gawking at me when I walk down the street that has brought these things to mind. But it is going to be a challenge for me to hold only the treasure God has given me, to know only Christ crucified, and to show everyday that the surpassing power belongs to God alone.
But it is our call as keepers of the gospel to do just that. As more of the passage says, "For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day."
At least some of that made sense I hope. And that is why the blog is now named "En Vasos de Barro." But why is it in Spanish? Cause everything sounds cooler in a different language ;-)
In English, "en vasos de barro" means "in jars of clay." I came across a passage this evening that I hadn't read in quite awhile that jumped off the page at me. Really the passage was the entire chapter of 2 Cor 4. Go read it when you have time. But more specifically verses 6 and 7 read:
"For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us."
I wish I could even begin to put into words how applicable those sentences are to where I find myself right now... in a place of humility realizing that I have never had a platform anywhere near as influential as the one I'll have with these 200 some odd students beginning a week from Monday. Not to mention the girls at the hogar, Buen Pastor, and Misericordia ministries, all my coworkers and the community. If for no other reason than I stand out like a sore thumb here because I'm fair skinned with blue eyes, I have a platform. But I've also been dubbed a missionary by the school and have 200ish students listening to me teach everyday... it's hard to comprehend the opportunity and responsibility I've been given here.
But the point, of course, is not that I have a larger sphere of spiritual influence then I've ever had, but that I have been given the knowledge of the glory of God, the knowledge of Jesus Christ. And therefore, I have a debt to pay anyone and everyone I encounter who does not know, know of the gospel or know of the grace extended to us by our Savior.
And furthermore, that it is in jars of clay God chose to place this treasure. That the glory would not be the vessel's but every eye would be transfixed upon the treasure alone.
Whether or not all of that translated to you, I don't really know. But it is a beauty of a vary unique sort to be a vessel that exists not to be anything to look at, but to be as simple and unembellished as possible so as to bring the greatest amount of attention to the treasure you hold.
Perhaps it is the nature of the expectations of the 7th Day Adventists at the school with their no make-up and no jewelry policies or the way people won't stop gawking at me when I walk down the street that has brought these things to mind. But it is going to be a challenge for me to hold only the treasure God has given me, to know only Christ crucified, and to show everyday that the surpassing power belongs to God alone.
But it is our call as keepers of the gospel to do just that. As more of the passage says, "For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day."
At least some of that made sense I hope. And that is why the blog is now named "En Vasos de Barro." But why is it in Spanish? Cause everything sounds cooler in a different language ;-)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Adventures can be mundane sometimes.
After a few more days in the grand city of Comayagua, there is very little excitement to report. It's amazing how the days can blur together when much of what you do all day is make lesson plans get home around 5:30, make dinner, clean the kitchen, work on various projects in a dazed state of mind, and finally crash around 9. I suppose I should be thankful for the relative calmness of it if nothing else since I week from now kids start coming to school and all chaos will unleash :-)
The encouragement we got today from one of our supervisors: You will be fighting a war this year. You'll be fighting to teach the kids and the kids will be fighting to not learn anything. Grrrreaaaat...
In other news we have some new friends living in one of our sets of drawers eating away at the wood. Fun times. But seriously, two more missionaries arrived today, twins from Jamaica who went to school in NYC. More girls our age to spend time with!
Suppose I'll end with prayer requests for the end of the week: That I find time to practice my Spanish more often and can really begin to break that communication barrier to more effectively be a witness here. And that the Lord will renew my mind so that my concept of success changes from being a perfect teacher to being an effective tool for his kingdom. They may be related in my case, but certainly NOT the same.
I want you all to know too, that I count myself eternally blessed to have you all in my life. This wouldn't be possible without the support of your prayers, encouragement, and friendship. Love you all and miss you like crazy!
Ahora, yo vivo en Comayagua pero no es mi hogar.
The encouragement we got today from one of our supervisors: You will be fighting a war this year. You'll be fighting to teach the kids and the kids will be fighting to not learn anything. Grrrreaaaat...
In other news we have some new friends living in one of our sets of drawers eating away at the wood. Fun times. But seriously, two more missionaries arrived today, twins from Jamaica who went to school in NYC. More girls our age to spend time with!
Suppose I'll end with prayer requests for the end of the week: That I find time to practice my Spanish more often and can really begin to break that communication barrier to more effectively be a witness here. And that the Lord will renew my mind so that my concept of success changes from being a perfect teacher to being an effective tool for his kingdom. They may be related in my case, but certainly NOT the same.
I want you all to know too, that I count myself eternally blessed to have you all in my life. This wouldn't be possible without the support of your prayers, encouragement, and friendship. Love you all and miss you like crazy!
Ahora, yo vivo en Comayagua pero no es mi hogar.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Promise of Today
Here's the truth that I'm gonna be clinging to today: God works powerfully through people by his Spirit even when they don't understand. At the beginning of Acts the apostles were still not really getting some of the finer points of Jesus' plan for the kingdom (Acts 1:6). But even with the misunderstandings was Peter in front of thousands ten days later preaching the sermon that would start the avalanche movement of Christianity (Acts 2)? Better believe it. Seek wisdom from God if you don't have it (James 1), but trust him no matter what.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Orientation Day
Everyday in Honduras is an adventure. Maybe things will at least become more routine when school starts if not any calmer.
Today was orientation day at the school (la escuela) Marantha that Emily and I will be teaching at. It started off very slowly in the true Honduran style. We sat for about two hours waiting for one of the principals to talk to us when finally some random people recruited us to cut out little orange circles... for what? We still don't know. All we got out of them was "Es una supresa." I felt like I was being initiated or better yet, hazed :-)
Anyhow, after lunch we got a very overwhelming orientation. We didn't think we were going to have to write our own lesson plans but that turned out not to be true. And we are each teaching 4 grades. Yes 4 different grades. That should be interesting. 5th through 8th. The principal we spoke with kept telling us, yes it is going to be hard, very hard, but you have to just pray for strength everyday. True enough.
Finally, we met with Pastor Trundle, the general principal of the school. That was the most encouraging time. He just kept reiterating to us why we were here. That we had been chosen to teach not because of our academic accomplishments but because he thought we would be able to show Christ to the hundreds of kids at the school who did not know him. That's the primary thing. Sharing the gospel. Education is just a tool to that end. Nothing more.
When I first decided to come here for the year I did not have a clear ministry or mission oriented purpose in mind. But after that meeting I felt like I had just been told what my purpose here was, by Pastor Trundle yes, but also by God. My mission field is going to be the classroom. I'll still be able to help at the hogar and travel some, Lord willing. But my time and energies are going to be consumed with working at the school and therefore, will be my primary focus.
A few people asked for prayer requests to be included in my blogs so my request for today: pray that I will find strength and wisdom everyday as I prepare for the students coming in two weeks. That I would be able to teach them not just the science but the way God reveals himself in such a beautiful and profound way through his creation and that my focus would not be on doing a perfect job teaching, but doing the best job I can showing the students Christ.
Gracias a Dios para esa oportunidad.
Today was orientation day at the school (la escuela) Marantha that Emily and I will be teaching at. It started off very slowly in the true Honduran style. We sat for about two hours waiting for one of the principals to talk to us when finally some random people recruited us to cut out little orange circles... for what? We still don't know. All we got out of them was "Es una supresa." I felt like I was being initiated or better yet, hazed :-)
Anyhow, after lunch we got a very overwhelming orientation. We didn't think we were going to have to write our own lesson plans but that turned out not to be true. And we are each teaching 4 grades. Yes 4 different grades. That should be interesting. 5th through 8th. The principal we spoke with kept telling us, yes it is going to be hard, very hard, but you have to just pray for strength everyday. True enough.
Finally, we met with Pastor Trundle, the general principal of the school. That was the most encouraging time. He just kept reiterating to us why we were here. That we had been chosen to teach not because of our academic accomplishments but because he thought we would be able to show Christ to the hundreds of kids at the school who did not know him. That's the primary thing. Sharing the gospel. Education is just a tool to that end. Nothing more.
When I first decided to come here for the year I did not have a clear ministry or mission oriented purpose in mind. But after that meeting I felt like I had just been told what my purpose here was, by Pastor Trundle yes, but also by God. My mission field is going to be the classroom. I'll still be able to help at the hogar and travel some, Lord willing. But my time and energies are going to be consumed with working at the school and therefore, will be my primary focus.
A few people asked for prayer requests to be included in my blogs so my request for today: pray that I will find strength and wisdom everyday as I prepare for the students coming in two weeks. That I would be able to teach them not just the science but the way God reveals himself in such a beautiful and profound way through his creation and that my focus would not be on doing a perfect job teaching, but doing the best job I can showing the students Christ.
Gracias a Dios para esa oportunidad.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Maiden Voyage
As this is my first attempt at blogging, I am not blog "savvy" so ignore the ridiculous appearance and confusing side panels as they come and go and change... focus on what's obviously more important: what I have to say ;-)
This is the end of my second weekend here in the wonderful city of Comayagua... well, in Honduras anyway. My first weekend we meandered to Copan northwest of here to check out the Mayan ruins. Fun times! Emily and I (and Taryn and Lindsay) have some great long standing jokes from our wonder of a tour guide at the Mayan city. He used the phrases "Yes, very special" and "I found it" a lot if that tells you anything.
Anyhow, I've been in Honduras for 11 days now and it seems like it has been much longer. I'm only used to two weeks out of the country at a time, so about this time is when I get really tired from an awesome trip and am looking forward to going home in a day or two... instead I start work at Maranatha school in the morning. It's been my observation thus far that this 11 mo excursion will be a lot of little adventures within one big one... orientation tomorrow will definitely count as one of those little adventures.
Another daily adventure, of course, being communication. This week I've tackled Espanol in the present tense (much review thankfully) and picked up on a lot of phrases used commonly. But nothing to brag about yet... except the one thing that was likely the best moment of my week: being asked and able to translate something for one of the visiting Americans.
Quick background: groups of Americans come often to play with the kids and help with various projects around the orphanage (el hogar) and the farm (la granja). At the end of their week here, they throw a going-away party of sorts at the hogar. Whenever I'm with the kids I use as much Spanish as possible to practice and one of the Americans, Linda, overheard me and called me over. She was with a girl that her and her daughter had made a special connection with, Wendi. Linda wanted me to explain to Wendi how much they cared for her even in the short time they'd known her. I was tempted at first to say that I didn't actually speak Spanish but instead I warned her I was still learning and would do my best. Thinking quickly on my feet I'm sure Wendi thought I sounded ridiculous with my many grammar errors but I said something to the effect of "Wendi, ella dice que Ud. eres,,,er ,,, es muy especial para ellas." Haha. You've gotta have a sense of humor trying to learn a language. Linda and I talked for a minute about the merit of a mere week's worth of investment in a life like Wendi's and before I walked away I looked at Wendi again and said "Te queremos." Which means "they love you" (and grammatically correct this time :-) For a second I saw understanding in her face before moving on to play with one of the other kids.
This first week and a half has been hard to be sure. Exhausting because of the language barrier and so many new things to learn. Sad at times because of home-sickness and missing the company of family and friends that know me and understand me. It's been a lot of other things too with various challenges and laughs. But I am so thankful to God for that little victory and I hope that this blog can become a long list of little victories as God enables me to work and to serve the people of this... well, let's be honest, random city. Lol.
This is the end of my second weekend here in the wonderful city of Comayagua... well, in Honduras anyway. My first weekend we meandered to Copan northwest of here to check out the Mayan ruins. Fun times! Emily and I (and Taryn and Lindsay) have some great long standing jokes from our wonder of a tour guide at the Mayan city. He used the phrases "Yes, very special" and "I found it" a lot if that tells you anything.
Anyhow, I've been in Honduras for 11 days now and it seems like it has been much longer. I'm only used to two weeks out of the country at a time, so about this time is when I get really tired from an awesome trip and am looking forward to going home in a day or two... instead I start work at Maranatha school in the morning. It's been my observation thus far that this 11 mo excursion will be a lot of little adventures within one big one... orientation tomorrow will definitely count as one of those little adventures.
Another daily adventure, of course, being communication. This week I've tackled Espanol in the present tense (much review thankfully) and picked up on a lot of phrases used commonly. But nothing to brag about yet... except the one thing that was likely the best moment of my week: being asked and able to translate something for one of the visiting Americans.
Quick background: groups of Americans come often to play with the kids and help with various projects around the orphanage (el hogar) and the farm (la granja). At the end of their week here, they throw a going-away party of sorts at the hogar. Whenever I'm with the kids I use as much Spanish as possible to practice and one of the Americans, Linda, overheard me and called me over. She was with a girl that her and her daughter had made a special connection with, Wendi. Linda wanted me to explain to Wendi how much they cared for her even in the short time they'd known her. I was tempted at first to say that I didn't actually speak Spanish but instead I warned her I was still learning and would do my best. Thinking quickly on my feet I'm sure Wendi thought I sounded ridiculous with my many grammar errors but I said something to the effect of "Wendi, ella dice que Ud. eres,,,er ,,, es muy especial para ellas." Haha. You've gotta have a sense of humor trying to learn a language. Linda and I talked for a minute about the merit of a mere week's worth of investment in a life like Wendi's and before I walked away I looked at Wendi again and said "Te queremos." Which means "they love you" (and grammatically correct this time :-) For a second I saw understanding in her face before moving on to play with one of the other kids.
This first week and a half has been hard to be sure. Exhausting because of the language barrier and so many new things to learn. Sad at times because of home-sickness and missing the company of family and friends that know me and understand me. It's been a lot of other things too with various challenges and laughs. But I am so thankful to God for that little victory and I hope that this blog can become a long list of little victories as God enables me to work and to serve the people of this... well, let's be honest, random city. Lol.
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